Harley's Poolboy (Deadpool and Harley Quinn)

Perfect Timing

-Deadpool-

I woke up with a huge headache. I don't know how much we drank last night but it was too much for me. "Uuuuggghh" my head was pounding and the room was spinning "Mother fucker!" I sat up slowly and that is when I realized. Harley is in my bed. My eyes went wide as she slept soundly, laying on her stomach. She had her arms folded under her head and her face turned towards me.
Did we do what I think we did?
I don't thinks so. Drunk or not I think we would remember sleeping with a hottie like her.

I pulled down the blanket hoping, praying that we were both fully clothed. We were both still in our clothes from yesterday. Her jeans sculpted her ass perfectly.
I wanna touch it.
Let's touch it.
Tooooouuuuccchhhh iiiiittt!
Toooouuucccchh iiiiittt!!!
Come on just give it a nice hard squeeze.
"We can't touch it. I don't want to wake her up." I whisper to myself. Harley started to stir, waking up. She pushed herself up off of the pillow groaning. 
Good she's just as hungover as we are.
She grabbed the top of the headboard and started stretching.
(A/N: The kind of stretch Harley did is the picture up top. Except her arms are extended up by the headboard.)
Harley did the kind of stretch a cat would do. She pushed her butt out and lowered her face towards the bed. She held that position for a few seconds then slowly sat up. She looked over at me for the first time since she woke up. Her jaw dropped.
"Did we-"
"I don't think so. I mean would you want to?" I smirked at her, she covered her face and groaned.
"Oh my god... Why am I staying in the same house as you? You are such an idiot!" She said rubbing her temples.
Hey!
We are not an idiot!
How dare she accuse us of idiocy!
How do we know those words?
Maybe we are an idiot...
"I am not an idiot." She laughed loudly and it hurt my head. "Stop laughing. I'm hungover" she stuck her tongue out at me.
"Oh poor baby. Suck it up buttercup. I'm not hungover."
HOW?!?!
"How are you not hungover? You drank more than I did!" I questioned.
"Like I said. I can hold my liquor." She retorted standing up getting out of bed. "I'm gonna go make some coffee. You want some Mr.GrumpyPants?" She said as she maid pouty faces.
She's hot when she's sarcastic.
She's hot all the time.
Oh god, her body is rockin'.
Damn I wish she HAD slept with us.
"Yeah I guess I'll take a cup." I said grumpily. My hangover was really taking a toll on my attitude. She spun around her blonde hair whipping through the air. She walked out of my bedroom her hips swaying. My jaw dropped as I watched.
God damn it!
How could Joker even think of cheating on her.
Ugh! She's perfect.
Walking into the kitchen after a quick session of 'fulfilling my needs' I see Harley sitting on the kitchen counter drinking out of a mug. She looked up at me and smiled. She pointed to a mug that was sitting on the counter next to her. I grabbed the mug and took a sip. I almost choked as I spit it into the sink.
"What the hell was in that?"
Her eyes went wide and handed me the mug she drank out of. She took my mug out of my hands and took a sip. "Oh yeah sorry. This one is mine. I must have gotten them mixed up." She took a longer sip. I took a small sip of the coffee she traded me for. It tasted like regular plain old coffee.
"What the hell was that?"
"Whiskey." She said matter of factly.
God she's hot.
And she drinks.
Fuck she's perfect.

-Later-

Harley and I sat on the couch and watching when she spoke up.
"Hey Wade."
"Yeah?"
"Why are there scratch marks all over your headboard?" She said raising an eyebrow.
"Erm... Well those are from Domino, I think. She was scratching at the headboard because she.... ummmm... she was enjoying herself. At least I hope she was." I said suddenly getting uncomfortable.
Why are we uncomfortable.
I mean we don't think of Harley like that.
Do we?
I mean she's hot and all but why are we uncomfortable talking about fucking other girls with her.
Maybe we do think of her like that.

"Wade why are you so uncomfortable? Is Domino your girlfriend?" She asked looking up at me.
Well shit.
"Umm... No. Domino is not my girlfriend. According to her 'it was a one time thing'. Sooo... We're not dating."

"Prove it." She smirked.
What the hell?
Is she asking what I think she's asking.
"What?!?" My voice cracked.
Very mature.
"Prove to me that she's not your girlfriend."
"Wha? How?!"
She laughed.
Why the hell is she laughing?
She leaned in closer to me. "You're a smart guy. I think. Figure it out." I laughed.
"You think?! Wow Harley I did not take as the kind of person that throws shade."
"You should stop making accusations Poolboy. We've already established that you know absolutely nothing about me."
Oh yeah....
That's true.
"Well I do know one thing. I know that you are sending me some signals that I can't ignore." I said slowly leaning towards her. She looked up at me and smiled.
God her smile.
Fuck... She's amazing.
I slowly grabbed the back of her head and pulled her close to me gently. She placed her hands on my chest gently. I felt sparks go through me wherever our skin made contact. I looked down into her beautiful, bright blue eyes.
We sound so fucking cheesy right now.
Shut up! We're having a moment!
I saw her eyes float down to my lips for a millisecond. If I weren't paying attention I would have missed it. My face was inches from hers and her chest was snug against mine. I started to lean in even closer she closed her eyes and just as my mouth was about to make contact with hers, there was a knock at the door.
Mother fucker!
Mother fucker!
"Fuck..." I whispered quietly. Her eyes fluttered open and she gently pulled herself out of my grasp.
"Wade I know your in there. I can smell you from out here."
Peter?!
What the hell is he doing here?
We didn't invite him over. Did we?
Oh shit! We did invite him over earlier.
Peter slammed his fist into the door a few more times. "Wade open the fucking door or I won't give you the tacos I brought over."
Tacos?
Taaaaaaacoooooosssss!!!!
I shot up from the couch and walked over to the door. I pulled the door open, grabbed the bag of tacos, and slammed the door, all in a matter of four seconds. I turned back around to see Peter Parker sitting on the couch next to Harley.
"Am I interrupting something?" He said his gaze shifting between Harley and I. Harley opened her mouth to say something but I cut her off.
"Oh no Peter. You have perfect timing." I said bitterly and sarcastically.