Learn to Control My Thirst

Chapter 4 : i wish i was her

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-At Home-

I sat down on the couch and sighed. I felt someone behind me and when I turned around I saw Ryosuke but it didn't feel like him. He had red eyes, just like the time when I first met him.

"Ryosuke?" I stood up and walked towards him. 

"Miki..." he mumbled

"Eh?"

He grabbed me and bit into my neck. I tried to push him away but I couldn't move. As I started to lose blood, I felt my knees become weak. After a while Ryosuke violently threw me on the floor and walked away. Slowly everything in front of me became black.

~

When I woke up, I was still on the floor. I wiped away my tears and walked out of the house. I don't know where I'm going but I just wanted to avoid Ryosuke as much as possible. How can I face him after what happened?

It was already dark outside and I felt really weak and my head hurt a little. 

'I don't know what happened and I don't know what was wrong with Ryosuke but all I can remember is the fact that he said Miki's name. Why isn't it me? I know I'm stupid for thinking that. He only knew me for a few days and Miki was his original fiance but I can't help but be jealous of Miki. What if I didn't forget my homework on that day? What if I didn't become Miki's replacement? Would they both be happily married by now? Would I not be in so much pain?'

I wiped away the tears and just sat down on the bench.

~

I looked at my watch, 1:43am.

'Ryosuke is probably asleep by now. He usually sleeps by 12.'

I stood up and slowly walked home. 

I opened the door to my room and got in bed. I heard the door creak open.

"Where were you?"

I got goosebumps when I heard his emotionless voice. I turned to the door and saw Ryosuke standing there. I didn't know what to say. He walked closer to me and I backed away, scared that the same thing is gonna happen.

"Can we talk tomorrow? I'm really tired right now" I faced away from him and closed my eyes. 

I heard Ryosuke sighed and he left the room.

'Why do I still love him after the way he treated me today?'

~

-Saturday-

"Hey Yuki-"

"I'm going to the library to study" I said and rushed out of the house.

'I can't face him yet...'

-Sunday-

'Why does it have to be the weekend? On Saturday I managed to avoid him by being at the library the whole day but Sunday I have to do housework' I sighed as I wiped the clean dishes and put them away.

"What are you sighing about?"

I jumped hearing his voice and accidentally dropped the plate I was holding.

He rolled his eyes "Yuki why are you bad at everything? When you do the laundry you mix up the whites and the reds so the white shirts turn pink. When you clean the room you just shove everything in your closet, and even simple things like washing the dishes, you can't finish without breaking something. I-"

"I'm sorry Ryosuke" I looked down

"What?"

"I'm sorry I can't do anything right" I looked down "And I'm sorry I'm not Miki..."

His eyes softened, "What are you saying?"

"I shouldn't have said I would be Miki's replacement on that day... If I knew you guys both loved each other I wouldn't have..." I wiped my tears "I thought I was her best friend but I didn't know anything about her... I didn't know about her family. I knew her parents got divorced and she lived with her dad but I didn't know she was suffering so much with him..." I looked up at him "You can go back to Miki"

He stared at me.

I smiled and pushed him out of the house "Go"

Without a word he slowly disappeared.

'I wish I never met him... Why does it hurt so much?'

More and more tears flowed out of my eyes as I sat on the floor.

~