Breaking Free

Veni, Vidi, Vici

Of course, you're not gonna go through what shit has taught you over and over again.
You may be fooled once, that's damn common. Yes true, but second chances? Yeah, though people said that "second chances are for assholes". Yet, the inevitable is undeniably difficult to refrain coz the thought of a "do over" might somehow take things to a whole new level.
Filled with hope and unconditional love, you would do whatever it takes to make it right this time. No going back to that narcissistic bitch u once were, no more of that ultimate ego that is apparent on your masquerade pride.

You would even be submissive to this pitfall called commitment. That's undeniably true, though it's hard to run away from this.
You have told yourself to never give in to that douche, but why your body is so devoting to him. As if you're being dotted on the target of him.
You're the victim here, angel. So Stop it.

Coz you're human too, we are all human, it's okay to be diabolical, it's okay to be neglected, it's okay to be took for granted, it's okay to be hopeless, it's okay to cry, it's life.
If it's yours, be it. It's it wasn't meant to be, it never was.

Love can be so poisonous. It affects you so much that sometimes life is dependent on it too much. Much referring to as bring attached, clingy.
I hate the thought of that. But soon you'll realize that all these while, you're doing it without realizing. Coz you're so into someone that the half of you is gone, that you've lost yourself. And the other half is pretty much departed to someone you want to share with. And that my friend is called being ultimately clingy. Yup.

And there, you have placed your ego as your current A list.
You can't deny that things are actually still the same old, same old.
It's called perspective, and just because it's new year, you resort to that solution where the past remains deceased in the past. No more going to the same road ever.

Little did you know that sometimes, yes maybe in the back of your mind, the joy of bouncing back to the old memory lane just occur to you. So much that as of you demand a reenactment. You just want to turn back time and hope things I would get better.

But now as I've been experienced more of everyday joy with the people whom I looked upon and cherished, they are the bosoms that opened up your eyes that you're worth it. No worth of that douche of course. You're talented, genius in your own way and full of potential.

And that's when I realized God is with me, made me strong to the core that my inner thoughts finally opened up to build barriers and protect myself from being slashed.
I'm a strong women, thanks to you too Pinay. I knew I wasn't good for you.
But I take it though you're an inspiration to me. The drug that invigorated me from the deceased years I've been. Thank you darl.
Now, I'm transforming, into someone who is me. Like or not you're gonna live it up. And yes the douche may encounter me times which I detest the most, yet. I'm not gonna give in to the third. It's stupid. Let it go girl. You deserve better.

Thank you God, for giving me 3rd resurrection from the pain I've been through, I'm grateful enough that you've gave chances to prove myself that I am Thea Queen in within.
People are people, they all have hearts, but you've taught me enough that I can differentiate those who are big hearted. I know these people now. They won't let you go no matter how insanely immature you are. These are the people you should not let go too.

And there's that non-related blood sister that you still can't let go of.
And now you're being thrown to the outside world handling on your own. You used to be so blessed with her because she knows practically everything about you. And then out of the blue, she has just flew away and be somewhere else.
Leaving you stranded in the pitfall.
Of course at first you feel so wasted.
Like there's no one there to understand you. You need her. But she's gone. Forever out of your sight.

Now, it's been 2 weeks. And your heart is growing fonder of yourself. Stay true. I am who I am. Sorry if I'm no more that angel that I used to be in your point of view. Coz no one can control me now. As I'm transforming , technically I'm getting stronger, not as vulnerable as I could have been. Don't underestimate the power of the ultimate Thea Queen. I can still stake you with my charm. And don't you forget that your actions killed me trice. But I've resurrected. Again, an abundance of Gratefulness to the almighty God for making me shoot through and live out of the black hole. I see the light , the light of being the role model of people whom are victims just like me. As what dear Yong used to quote these words.
"change your mindset, don't give up darling" Inject that into you and you'll find that life is beautiful after all.