Chapter 10: We All Fall Apart

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Andy's POV

"It's my job to worry about you." Ashley had said with a smile.
What was that supposed to mean? What did he mean by 'job'? It wasn't a job. He didn't have to worry about me...
"What do you mean?" I asked quietly.
Ashley stayed silent, pondering the question.
"I mean that you're my best friend; my brother, and I worry about you... I'll always worry about you." He smiled again and put an arm around my shoulder. "Why? Do you not like me worrying about you?"
I shrugged a bit and ducked under his arm. "I don't know. I don't know what I want, y'know?" I sighed, looking down at the feather sticking out of my notebook.
"Well... okay. Hey, how about you go show the guys your song. I"ll be back here taking a nap if you need me." he laughed. I smiled and nodded, hopping off the bunk and began talking to the other three about our new song that I had put together, although it was sill uncompleted.
"How'd you come up with this, dude?" Jake asked, reading it over again.
"I already told Ash. It's not too complicated, I just like the idea of a fallen angel; it represents an outcast in a way." I shrugged. "A lot of fans we've met say they're outcasts, too. I figured it could be like an anthem to them. Does that make sense?"
"I really like that idea.." Jinxx said with a soft smile.
"The fans are gonna love it, Andy! Good job, lil bro." CC reached over and ruffled my hair. I ducked and fixed my hair again.
"Hey! You know I hate it when you guys mess up my hair!" I pouted, crossing my arms.
"All the more reason to do it." CC grinned evilly and tackled me to the ground, messing up my hair. I managed to shove him off and sat up.
"You guys suck." I pouted more and got up. I snatched my notebook from Jake and jokingly stormed to my bunk, listening to them laughing. I rolled my eyes and sat in my bunk.
I glanced across the aisle at Ashley, fast asleep, and smiled. He was so cute... I opened my notebook, frowning when I saw one of the corners on a page was creased a bit. I read over it and my heart pounded.
"Who read my journal?!" I panicked, bursting into the main area again. I looked at the guys' faces. They were all confused, wide eyed and taken by surprise. They all knew better than to read my journal unless I showed them a specific page- otherwise it was like the end of my world knowing someone had read my thoughts. "Who did it?! I know someone did!"
"Andy.. none of us even saw it today until just a few minutes ago... maybe you're just paranoid." Jinxx reassured.
"Y-yeah... you're probably right." I bit my lip and went back to my bunk.
"Hey, kid, you okay?" Ashley's voice sounded from across the aisle. I lifted my head.
"Huh? Oh.. yeah. I'm fine. Just a bit paranoid." I laughed lightly.
Ashley nodded, his gaze directed at the bottom of the bunk below his as if in thought. "Andy?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Why did you care that I wasn't paying attention to you earlier?" Ashley bit his lip, turning his head so his eyes locked onto mine.
"I- I dunno." I shrugged and looked down.
"Do you... do you mind that I'm a bit distant lately?"
I shook my head and shrugged again. "Nah, we all need space sometime." I sighed, lying. I wanted to be around Ashley all the time...
"Really? Because I thought you wanted me to smother y-" Ashleys eyes widened and he clapped a hand over his mouth. My heart raced again, a sick feeling twisting in the pit of my stomach.
"Ash? You- you read my journal?" I squeaked.
"No! I mean- yes but.. It fell open to that page and I only read it because I saw my name and it... it caught my interest... I'm sorry.." Ashley said quietly. I sat up and clutched my journal to my chest tightly.
"You read my journal!" I said again, my voice breaking. "I hate you!" I pushed myself off the edge of the bunk and bolted to the back room, unable to leave the bus as it had began heading to the next destination. I locked the door and sobbed into a pillow. Ashley read my journal.
How could he betray my trust like that...?
I built up a strong relationship with Ashley, because I knew that if I couldn't be his, than I could at least be his best friend.
And now it was falling apart right in front of my eyes.

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