They say your brain blocks out bad memories. Maybe that's why I didn't remember Madelle.
The train is elaborate, but I don't pay attention to any of it. I find my room and change my clothes, wanting to be rid of the reminder. I throw the green dress down the trash chute, and change into a white sleeveless dress, free of gaudy Capitol decorations. I slip on white flats to match, and put my hair up.
I glance in the mirror. I look different now, enough to not let my appearance be a constant reminder of the last hour. To help block out new bad memories. The only problem is that the past can have a significant impact on the future.
I stand, and walk over to the door, turning around to glimpse my entire room before I leave. The smooth tile glints from the dim lights shining on it, and everything is a bright shade of white. I know I'll only be here for one night, yet all this extravagance is in place. Do they reuse the trains every year?
I walk down the hall and back into the main room, with several couches and a giant television. A table with chairs is behind it, and I'm guessing that's where we'll eat tonight.
Two of our mentors are sitting on the couches, talking to Saria about the "usual" sponsors. Claudia and Amber, I think. Rift isn't here.
"Hey." My voice is flat.
"I think I'll go get ready for lunch," Saria announces, and slides out of her seat. "I'll leave you all to the mentoring business." She flashes me a smile, her heels clicking on the tile.
"You're Fenna, then?" Amber asks.
I nod, twisting my fingers.
"You're with Claudia. Where's the boy?" she snaps.
"In his room."
Amber lets out a dramatic sigh. "And I'll be in mine. Someone be a dear and let me know when he comes out?" She waves a hand over her face, and stands up. Her hair swishes over her shoulders as she leaves, its color matching her name.
Claudia sighs. "Sorry. It's her first year as an official mentor, now that she's eighteen. She'll be coaching Rift, but I'll be helping out some and she'll also talk to you a few times. You know that we have Clyde, but Amber wanted to do it this year."
I nod. "Okay. And you're my mentor?" I'm not wasting time being subtle. This is deadly important. At least I'm not the one getting gypped with a mentor. Clyde wouldn't be any better.
"Yes. Fenna, the first thing we have to decide is what front you're going to put up. To the other tributes, to the Gamemakers, to sponsors, to even your own prep team and Saria. You can be honest with me, because I'm the one who's helping you make this outer image. But to everyone else, you need to stick to what we decide now."
Straightforward. I like it. "That makes sense. But what is my 'outer image' going to be?"
"There're strategies and angles- don't mix them up. Your strategy will help determine your angle. If you knew what you're planning on doing in the arena, you can prep for that beforehand. What do you think you're going to do?"
Claudia isn't asking me what I'm going to do- but what I think I'm going to do. There's clearly a difference, or else she wouldn't distinguish that. "Hide out somewhere and try to outlast everyone as long as I can. If it's clear I can't win, I'd try to find some berries to do myself in so I won't die at the hands of someone else."
Claudia shakes her head. "So if it looked hopeless, you'd kill yourself."
"I'd rather control how I die, if I have to," I state. "There's a difference."
She shrugs. "You'll be dead either way."
I don't answer.
"So your strategy is to outlast everyone?"
