The Secret Life of a Toilet Dweller

Pimpin' in my convos - Part 1

He was staring at a girl who was sitting in front of us but was sitting to the side talking to him. I noticed him move his hand to his jeans. I peeked a look carefully, I didn’t want it to seem that I was staring at him.

He was talking to her whilst outlining him crown jewels on the side of his jeans. He kept going over it and over it making the jeans crinkle around the shape of it.

The girl he was talking to eventually realised and instead of being disgusted like I was she just giggled and called him nasty. He didn’t stop though, he winked at her, making her giggle once more.

This Social class was just full of teenagers with raging hormones trying to show off to the other sex. I was a teenager myself, but I could control ym hormones. But after witnessing that it was clear that not everyone could exercise self-control. I rolled my eyes and just looked out the window counting down the minutes for this hell to be finished.

The teacher eventually came into the lesson, telling everyone to quieten down. She quickly called out the register and told us what we would discuss today.

‘Healthy Relationships.’

The teacher said that the boys and girl should split up, then write a list of things that we would want from a boyfriend/girlfriend.

The girls (the loud ones) happily started writing a list on the paper that the teacher handed out without consulting all the other girls. I didn’t want to be consulted anyway.

I could already imagine what would be on the list, ‘tall, sexy and confident with money’.

After 10 minutes she told us to stop writing, and to tell the other group what we each said.

Cindy, possibly the loudest and most obnoxious person I had ever heard in my short life decided to declare herself the leader of the girls, and started reading of the list.

I hadn’t even seen ‘our’ list, so you could imagine my shock at some of the things that were being read. It sounded like something that you could quote of tumblr. She said ‘knows when to hold me down and tell me to shut up’, I was gobsmacked. No potential boyfriend of mine will hold anyone down. I was am extremely calm and tranquil person, for you to make me that angry that I felt the need to attack you, leading you to hold me down is a major problem. Other than that, everything else was superficial. Car, money, haircut, beard, height, stupid things like that.

When it came to boys turn however, I found a new depth of ignorance.

Daniel, the male version of Cindy started reading of the list. He hadn’t even gotten onto the second thing and he had caused an uproar. He said that she couldn’t wear make-up or weave.

Most of the class had girls with makeup and weave.

I don’t think the girls really cared; I think they cared because they liked him. Knowing that he didn’t like something that they had/did they thought they had to justify themselves, loudly.

Daniel was the cocky, tall, rude boy that girls seemed to always fall for. When the girls, loudly, questioned him, he said that black girls look ugly without makeup.

I really had to stop myself laughing. He carried on with the list that the boys had written up, the rest of the list consisted of being able to cook, clean and be funny. They were just the most weirdest unrealistic pair of lists I had ever heard. She allowed us to return to our seats (not that I moved), then spent the rest of the lesson talking about what’s a healthy relationship and what isn’t.  

*

‘’Cleopatra!’’ I didn’t hear him. I didn’t allow my brain to hear him, if I didn’t hear him I didn’t have to turn around. I took another bite out of my pie, keeping my eyes firmly on my target the college gates.

I had endured 50 minutes with idiots; I couldn’t stop when I was leaving to talk to another one.

I felt him hold my hand, stopping me from walking. So far, yet so close. I turned to Jason. He grinned at me. I didn’t smile, one reason being that I wasn’t happy to see him, and other because all of his friends were lurking behind him and staring at us interact.

‘’You finished?’’ I nodded. Jason didn’t see me nod because he was looking at what I was wearing. I looked down at what I was wearing as well getting slightly self-conscious.

I didn’t like being under his glare.

‘’Where you going now?’’ His eyes finally met mine after he thoroughly scrutinized what I was wearing.

‘’Home’’

‘’Are you going to ask me where I’m going?’’

‘’I don’t particularly care,’’ he looked taken aback, ‘’if I’m being honest.’’ I tried add sugar to the wound. He just nodded.

‘’Lucky for you, I don’t care if you don’t care. I’ll tell you anyway.’’ He grinned again. I tried to hold back my smile but honestly seeing someone else smile just made me smile. He grinned even more when I finally gave in and smiled back at him. ‘’I’m going to get some Chinese with the boys. Do you want to come?’’ I moved my eyes to his ‘boys’ behind him, and thought of Natasha. This was what she wanted. A group of year 13’s all to herself to pick through.

‘’I’m going to have to pass this time.’’ And any other time. ‘’But you enjoy your Chinese.’’ He smiled again. He had perfect teeth. He must have had braces when he was younger because they were unnatural straight. He smiled at any and everything because he knew how nice his teeth were.

‘’Yeah I will. Check you later Princess.’’ I waved him bye as he strolled back to his group of friends, of course, throwing me a wink.

I think I hated Jason more now than I did yesterday, which I didn’t think was possible. I was yet to get him back for farting on me. Whenever I think about that day I nearly have a mental break down.

I hated him so much yesterday that I was this close to making a voodoo doll out of him and torturing him.

I had had a dream about him, it upset me so much that it was a dream that we kissed. I woke up in such a bad mood, and now, the whole time he was talking to me I had butterflies.

 

[Authors note: Whatever you think will happen in this story. Will not happen.]