The Clichés of Jeff the Killer Stories

6. Descriptions

6. Descriptions

Do you really need to put your OC's biodata at the beginning of your story? I mean, are you that talentless in describing or just plain lazy to do that? 

Here's an example: 

Name: Something 

Age: 17 

Description: 

-5'1" 

-Black hair (but I dyed it golden brown) 

-Dark brown eyes-almost black 

-Tanned skin 

-Slim

Personality: 

-Narcissistic

-Hyperactive 

-Random 

-Loud 

Other info: 

-Loves reading novels, writing stories, singing, playing guitar, drawing and sleeping. :) 

-Loves dark stuff, creepypasta and such.

See what I did there? I just described myself! :) Now you know me. Not really.

Back to the topic: Descriptions. Why do writers have to put their OC's profile before they start the whole story? Can't they just use their skill to describe things? Why not reveal things gradually? If you do what I did up there, you lose the mystery of your story. 

Why not use your natural affinity for English language to do something productive? English is not my first language, so you may notice some mistakes in my works, but at least I try to be as sensible as I can be. And not to mention that I've developed an OCD when it comes to grammar 'cause it's not really my best language. It means I have to perfect it. 

Anyways, I've gone off topic again. So going back to the profile thing, why do you have to put one? 

Use your language, mate! Don't be lazy! Don't info-dump! 

Yeah, I said INFO-DUMP. That's it! I finally figured what to call it. (Info-dump was the term used by Parogar to describe such act.)

Stop info-dumping, mate. It's one of the NO NO's when it comes to writing. I've surely done it before so I'm warning you to prevent you from doing the same mistake. 

Now, we're still with descriptions. First, I talked about info-dumping. Now, I'm going to talk about the opposite—the lack of descriptions. 

Jesus. Why is it like I'm just reading some kind of an IM chat when it comes to some JTK stories? 

Example: 

"Go to sleep!" Jeff said. 

"No!" I screamed. 

"You can't get away!" he said. 

"Please don't kill me!" I said. "I love you!" 

"I love you, too!" 

Then we kissed.

See? Where are the descriptions, mate?! I know I've talked about info-dumping, but this one is surely one helluva bullshit. Am I reading an IM conversation? Where are your adjectives and adverbs? Did you fahkin' murder them? 

Mate, get real. If you're going to write something like this, don't even attempt to. It would surely suck. If you've already written one and you've got a lot of reads, then you and your readers have low IQ's. 

Offensive? Not really. Just telling the truth, mate. Just telling the truth. 

Hate me? I don't care. Not my loss. 

Now, if you're either of the two kinds of writers that I've mentioned—which were the INFO-DUMPERS and IM CONVO WRITERS, then you should change the way you write. Change it while there's still time. 

Oh, and haven't you noticed something? 

I didn't just talk about JTK stories! I was also referring to other fan fictions out there! So, yeah. 

That's all! 

Adios, mi amigos.