Ian's Speech ~ Smosh Fanfiction

'Hacker!' I yelled, and everyone laughed.

' Our videos gradually got better, with better humour and hopefully better quality. Well, my mum thinks they're good, at least. I want to thank our fans that have been with us for all these years, supported us, reassured us, and actually managed to get what we do to count as a job. I would definitely not want to still be the mouse at Chuck E. Cheese.'

Everyone chuckled, as all of a sudden, a photo of Ian in the mouse suit popped up on the screen behind him. Ian grinned widely, and nodded.

'Yep. That was me back in 2006,' Ian admitted. 'I made sure the children had a fun time...' he joked. His mom frowned, but everyone else laughed, including me. Ian confronted his mom up front.

'Thanks Mom, for actually agreeing to be in loads of our videos. I'm sure not many moms would actually agree to dance, sing and say 'No-one's gonna lay a finger on my butterfinger,' to the camera. I think you're probably the reason that some people actually enjoy our videos. And thankyou for letting Anthony over nearly every night when we were still at school, and pretty much creating our best memories.'

Ian's mom grinned at me, and then at Ian. He then turned to my mom.

'Anthony's mom- Without you we wouldn't have been able to stay such good friends. You actually dealt with me coming over and us making videos noisily in Anthony's bedroom.' My mom grinned and murmured 'It's fine.'

'Thankyou to Harley Morenstein and Ryan Higa for inviting Anthony along to that party, and getting him to fall in love with his gorgeous now-wife, Kalel. Without you guys, we wouldn't be here, and Anthony would probably have resorted to dating the fans...so thankyou. Now Anthony has a beautiful wife.'

Kalel blushed, and I pecked her quickly on the lips as a sign of my love.

'And now, after what seems like no time, we are at their wedding. And thankyou to each and every one of you that have helped organise this, and have helped Anthony and Kalel out, whether it was the food, venue, bouquets or even the placecards. Thankyou to you all. Thanks to Anthony's ushers. Well done to the gorgeous bridesmaids: Melanie, Harriet, Mari, and Sadie. You all look beautiful.'

All the bridesmaids on the main table went red, including Mel. Kalel smiled at all of them, in appreciation of their efforts today.

'And the final thankyous are to the couple...' Ian said, lowering his cards.

I wasn't expecting that. Me and Kalel gave each other a brief look of confusion. Ian looked amused. He carried on, without any cue cards. This was gonna come straight from the heart...

'Kalel, you have helped us so much with our jobs. You've made my best friend eternally happy. You've given me and my girlfriend both an amazing friend. And a cute cat,' he added.

'You've never failed us. You're always happy and willing to give us a hand, whether it's acting in a video, giving me and Mel a very long lift to Vidcon, or just being there when I need cheering up. You're gorgeous, amazing, hilarious, and an amazing friend. I hope we'll always be close.'

Ian then turned to me.

'Anthony, over all these years you've helped me through thick and thin, sickness, depression and those times where I'm just so damn frustrated and stressed, and just need a hug or a joke to cheer me up and stop me from flipping a table. We've laughed our way through school, teenagerhood and the majority of our twenties, and I hope we'll laugh our way through life. You helped me to meet my gorgeous girlfriend, you've helped me to make new friends by going along with me to meetups- and you got me into Adventure Time, for which I am eternally grateful. With your computer , editing and comedy skills, you've managed to form us both an army of young people who enjoy comedy and our weird senses of humour. I still can't believe where we are today, and it's all thanks to the fact you actually allowed me to be your partner on that sixth-grade science project. Now we're partners running the most subscribed channel on YouTube, which is crazy.'

I was blushing so bad, but I couldn't stop smiling.

'I hope the end of Smosh is a long way off. Thankyou for everything, dude. You've made me into a better person, and you've given me a friendship that I know will last for the rest of our lives. You're my best friend, Anthony.'

Everyone 'awww'ed at this bit. My heart swelled with pride and I almost felt tears coming on, embarrassingly. Ian was my best friend- and he'd done so much for me. I wanted to say something to him, but I couldn't in front of everyone.

Ian clapped his hands.

'Now... who wants cake?'

Everyone laughed and nodded keenly.

'C'mon, up, you two,' and he hauled us up towards our huge white cake, Kalel's train dragging behind her. He passed me a knife and I offered it to Kalel. In the end we cut the cake together, both of our hands squashed onto the handle of the knife. We had some photos taken of us with the knife deep inside the thickly-iced three-tier cake, with Ian grinning beside us, pointing at the cake devilishly. I couldn't really say anything to Ian then, either.

Once everyone had their cake on their tables, including Kalel, Buki and me, I saw, through the door window, Ian outside the hall, smiling. He was looking at his cue cards, checking whether he'd completed the speech correctly. Finally- a chance to talk to him alone.

I put down my slice and got up, mumbling to Kalel that I needed the bathroom, or some equally lame excuse.
I opened the door and Ian's eyes lit up as he saw me.

'Ian, that was amazing. Thanks, man,' I said, and gave him a quick brohug.

'It's alright,' he insisted. 'I'm just glad it went down well. Sorry it was so short.'

'Nah- it was perfect. I just wanted to say it wasn't me that you should be thanking. You should thank yourself.'

'No way, Anthony. You've done so much for me. Without you, I'd never be where I was today.'

'Ian, listen. I never really had a best friend until I met you. I was way too shy, too nervous to speak to anyone. But when I was put into that science class with you, I was sorta glad I had chance to talk to you properly and to hopefully make a friend. I guess in high school it was harder to see each other as often with the different subjects we took, but playing video games every night with you are now my fondest memories, some of them way more special than ones I have with Kalel.'

'But dude,'

'Not done. Ian, you kind of gave ME the most. I should be thanking you. You're the funnier one, all the fans and I know that.'

Ian opened his mouth to interrupt.

'Dude, you've given me so much. You're hilarious, and even though I'm now a married man, I know we'll be best friends until the end. God, this sounds so gay,' I laughed.

'Sorta,' Ian chuckled. 'But thanks, Anthony. You know how much I appreciate you. Without you, we'd probably be working in some office. Guess not, huh?'

'Thank the Lord,' I retorted, before having a good hug. 'Ian, I freakin' can't thank you enough. I love you, man.'

'I love you too, dude,' Ian responded. He'd always be my best friend. I nervously, tentatively leaned forward and kissed Ian on the forehead. Ian smiled.

'Was that unbelievably gay?' I asked.

'Maybe. But hey, Frodo does it to Sam, right?' Ian said optimistically.

'After he travels to Mordor for like 4 years, and literally goes through everything with him. It's understandable that he kisses him,' I sighed.

'Yeah, but to be honest I feel like we've done that, but without it corrupting us! We've been through pretty much every challenge, dude. I feel like we'll never reach the end.' Ian half-smiled.

'You're right. You're amazing, man. Thanks for always being there to support me and Kalel. I can't...'

'You don't have to say anything more. You're the best friend I could have ever had.'

'Guess we should go back in.'

'They probably think we've been abducted.'

I opened the door next to me up, gesturing for Ian to go through.

Little did either of us know that the door was not really soundproofed and all the wedding guests just heard every word of our confessions to each other.