SAVING HIM // PHAN

FOUR

DAN

I look up and there they are. Chris, Pj, Oli, Joe, Caspar - and Phil ? What is he doing there? I feel a push on my shoulder but nothing happens. Nothing happens.. I lock eyes with Oli and notice his mischievous smirk but they just keep on walking by. I stop walking and look around. It's just me and them on the field. As I'm looking around I meet eyes with Phil this time and I take this time to just go. I leave so quickly but in an incredible amount of pain.

I thought it was early lunch. Meaning lunch ends at one and then i have three more classes. But it's not. Of course it's late lunch. (Meaning lunch starts at one and then there's two classes left) Great. I take a seat in the cafeteria by myself. Can't wait for the rest of the day.

PHIL

So far the day is going great. I'm at Chris's house and at the moment playing monopoly. It's just Chris, Oli and I because the rest had homework to go do. 

"Phil your turn." I roll the dice and get a 5. So I pick up my piece and move 5 only to land on one of Oli's lands. "HAH now pay up." I hand the monopoly money to Oli and the game continues. After a while we all started getting bored so we decide to go out and get a coffee even if it's ten pm. Wait. It's ten pm? Where is Chris's parents? "Hey chris, where are your parents. Isn't it getting late?"

"They're on vacation my friend! The house is all mine for two whole weeks! Meaning you guys can stay over if you'd like." I think about it for a while. I only just met them but hey.. I'm making friends so that's gotta be a good sign. I text mom mom and obviously get yes for a response. "I'm aloud so let's go get coffee!"

CHRIS

We are heading out for coffee although Oli and I chose the alley way to see how Phil reacts because we both know there will be some stoners wandering the streets. In the future we might need someone to make some deals for us so we may as well see his opinions on them now. 

PHIL (sorry for all the pov changes>_>)

We're in an alley. An alley. What kind of cafe are we going to. I'm starting to get pretty nervous considering it's practically pitch black and it smells like someone just had a party with a lot of drugs. "Hey guys are we almost there?"
Oli and Chris look at each other and back at me. "Yeah it's just down a couple of streets." Really? It doesn't look like it. It's just dark alleys, great place to sell drugs that is but not to go towards a cafe. As we continue down the road, I see someone. Wait.. Two people. As we get nearer towards them there's a huge stench of smoke and well weed.

One of them makes eye contact with me and very quickly hands money to the other man in exchange for something in a bag. That's weird, I catch a glimpse of his shirt. A black shirt with what looks like a white ring in the centre of their shirt. I decide to look away not wanting to cause any problems but out of the corner of my eye I see him walk away. Well more like run away.

I look over to Chris as he starts speaking. "That was odd, anyways look right up ahead. It's the cafe." Thank god. I just need some coffee to calm me down.
                        •  •  •
*next day*
DAN

*beep beep* I open my eyes and look over at the clock. 6:30 am meaning I have school today. I crawl out of bed and look myself in the mirror. I decide not to have a shower considering I had one last night and because I hate taking showers in the morning. I then proceed to get dressed. I chose a black jumper to match my black jeans to match my black shoes to match my black leather jacket to math my soul. Hey at least I match right ?

After I finish washing up I head outside on my way to school. I skip breakfast but when do I really eat anyways. As I make my way to school only self hatred find its way inside my mind.

You're worthless.
Leave me alone.
No one likes you.
I know.
You are repulsive.
I know.
Why are you even alive.
I don't know.
You should go kill yourself.
Maybe I will.

I'm finally at school. I look around and take note where everyone is. I see the group of cheerleaders, then the nerds, the theatre group, the glee club, Chris and his gang, and then there's me. I check the time and notice I've come in earlier than I usually do. I try to come in late to hopefully miss the beatings that go on in the morning but I guess this time I forgot. I head towards the front doors of the school when I notice Joe staring at me. I look over and I see Phil them. Gosh how could someone possible want to hang around them on their first week of school?

I make my way towards my locker to get my things for English class. As I'm walking to English class I realize something. I didn't get any morning beatings. Why didn't they come after me? I walk into English class and head to my spot. I'm nice and early or so I thought. Next thing I know everyone's rushing in the class and there goes the bell. I see Chris come in and take a seat in the row behind me but no one takes the seat directly behind me.

I feel someone kick at my seat. Over and over again. Next thing I notice is the spit balls at the back of my head. And then the voice I've been dreading to hear. "Her loser. Miss me?" Chris. Couldn't he leave me alone? Just for one day? "Don't ignore me Danny. Don't think we have forgotten about you." Great.  I can't wait for later. Why me? I'm worthless. It's the constant thought at the back of my mind.

Wouldn't life be happier if I was just gone? For good? I know Chris and his gang would. Out of nowhere I feel a hard slap across the back of my head. "How did that feel Daniel? Get used to it now because there's more on the way."

Funny thing is, I'm already used to it. Day after day, month after month, year after year. I lost all hope of getting better. How could I get better? Do I even want to get better? I am nothing without this sadness. If it goes, I'll just be numb. Maybe that's worse than sadness. Because being numb to all feelings is just cold. It's so god damn cold.

I don't want to be numb and I don't want to be sad. But being sad is all I've ever known. Maybe I just need someone to come in my life and stay. Make themselves a home and stay. Although that's highly unlikely.

After all, who would love a boy addicted to alcohol, drugs and their own pain?

A/N: HEY would you look at that. I'm back! sorry this chapter is short and it's shit but I have mid term exams tomorrow and the rest of this week:(

Hope you have a great day!
-logan xx