Let Me Be Your Lethal Weapon

The Drive Thru

"So-uh, I never caught your guys' names," Leo sat at the edge of the seat, leaning between Rog and Riggs. I squished myself against the door, wanting my distance.

"Sargent Murtaugh, Sargent Riggs, and Sargent Pritchett," Riggs answered, looking through the window as we sat in the drive thru of McDonald's.

"You guys don't have first names?" Leo questioned.

"No!" Riggs answered sternly. Leo had only been with us for a short while and he was already pissing us off.

"Boy! You guys are--"

"SHUT-UP!" Somehow, simultaneously we all shouted the same thing at Leo. His mouth sealed up tight as he cowered back in his seat. I wanted to laugh, but the sight of our burgers turned my focus elsewhere.

Rog grabbed the bag from the girl in the window, handing it to Riggs. He opened it up, stealing the fries that had fallen to the bottom of the bag. Leo and I leaned forward, starved, and drooling.

"Oh-oh you want some of this? These deliciously tasty Fren--" He took a bite after every word, teasing Leo and me.

"If you don't give me my shit I'm gonna shove those deliciously tasty French fries up your fucking ass!" I snatched the bag from him, trying not to laugh. Riggs thought it was hysterical, as did Leo. Rog was too busy struggling with all the drinks in his hands.

"Who ordered the Big Macs?" I questioned as I pulled out the burgers.

"Over here," Rog and Riggs raised there hands.

"I got the chicken sandwich," Leo interjected.

With everything handed out to everybody, we all began to dig in. Rog, Riggs, and I continued to argue over who was going to take Leo. Rog's house is too packed, Riggs lives in a trailer, and I just don't want a strange man in my house. I don't think that's too much to ask.

"Uh excuse me! Excuse me!"

"What Leo?" Riggs questioned.

"This is fish. Okay? I hate fish. I refuse to get stuck with fish."

"Hey Leo, don't eat the fish", Rog answered.

"Oh! Where were you?! I just said that! I'm not eating it! I'm not eating fish!"

"Good! Good!" Riggs interrupted Leo as he stuffed his face.

"C'mon let's go back!"

"Leo, forget it! I'm not going back so just shut up!" Rog shouted.

"Oh sure! Don't go back! Okay! Okay! Don't go back! That's what they want-- Let me tell yo-- can I give you guys a friendly piece of advice? Okay?! Don't ever go up to the drive thru, okay?! Always walk up to the counter! You know why?! Okay! Okay! Okay! They fuck you at the drive thru, okay?! They fuck you at the drive thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! Okay?! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back! So they don't care! Who gets fucked?! Oh! Leo Getz! Okay?! Sure I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this fish, okay--"

"SHUT-UP!" The three of us, again, shut Leo up simultaneously... It was evident that he was going to drive us all to drink...