The Sinister Mind

The Beginning

This is my first work of fiction (which I wrote when I was in College) and I am thankful to all my friends and familymembers who made this possible.The story revolves around a character named Jack and this story has been writtenin such a way that the reader is given an opportunity to travel through theprotagonist's mind. It is histhoughts that has been recorded in this story and please read it with an open mind.The tenses might wander as I have used past and present frequently in between.Please be lenient while reading.

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I was standing in front of that godforsaken Mansion, trying to forget a past that I once had. A past that I wish I never had. Silence stained my felicity. A cold breeze brushed through my face and escaped into the vast space. It felt like it whispered something to me. The Mansion had a story of its own to tell me. But it needn‟t. I knew it better than anyone else. The story in which I had a great role to play. A life changing story, which was it. A more apt epithet. My vision was blurring. Well, that's a first. Tears poured out of my sorry eyes. Lisa...I'm really sorry. I wept, under the sun that showered red light on to the life, sending the creatures away to their nests, marking the end of a day. But the red had more in it than it ever had.

I had been standing in front of the Mansion gate for almost an hour now. I decided it was time to walk home. Home was not far, just across the Carton‟s Memorial Park. The park was beautiful in autumn. The very bonnie trees were shedding its dry leaves, laying an orange path for anyone who walks through there. I walked through it. The dry leaves crunched as I stepped on them. Lisa and I used to play here. We loved it especially when it was autumn. Lisa loved to bury me under these leaves. She really loved it. I still remember that giggly laugh she used to make. I never liked me being me buried under those leaves, but I did it, for her. The walking was harder than I thought. With each step I took, a memory of her blossomed in my mind. I knew my repentance won‟t get her back, but I somehow felt it was the right choice to come back here on the 10thAnniversary of her death. I just knew it.

Finally I was outside the park. I could see my home. Stella was standing at the gate talking to some woman. It was our neighbor, I presume. I couldn‟t notice much about them. I could see them clearly, but my eyes chose not to. I was fast falling into an ocean of emotions. Grief had taken over my body. I was in a trance. I wasn‟t controlling my legs. They just were working. My arms were shivering.

What the fuck?! Am I sleep walking?

Lisa.... Her room burning with her in it.

That was all I could see. "Help". That was all I could hear. I walked on. Stella noticed me. She smiled. But I didn‟t. I couldn‟t. I just walked into my room and locked the door.

On the side of the bed stood our wedding photo. I looked at it. Stella was smiling. She was happy. But I wasn‟t. That‟s strange. I remember smiling that day. I remember that I was happy. I took the photo and gazed at it for a moment. By now my head was killing me. I kept the photo back in a hurry and walked straight into the bathroom. I stood in front of the medicine cabinet. Aspirin. That is what I need. I looked at myself in the mirror. There was no change of emotion on my face. I

tried to smile. Nothing. It was like looking down to a statue with a dismal look that even Hitler looked more riant than me. I needed a shower to cool off.

Lisa and I used to be great friends. I don‟t even remember when this friendship started. Maybe from kindergarten. I didn‟t remember exactly. As far as I knew, I knew her from the days I knew me. She was there with me, all the time.