The Suicide Kid

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Effie's P.O.V

Dear people who read this,

I am sorry for doing this, but its better this way. I can't live in this cruel world anymore. Dont blame what i'm about to do on yourself, its not your fault I dont want to live. This is my choice and I want you to respect it, Ever since I moved from middle school to High school my life has been a living hell. Mum and Dad, you dont know how much I actually get bullied. your too involved in your own life to even listen when I say i'm getting bullied. I guess I deserve it though, for all the horrible things I did and said in middle school. I think of myself as a mistake to this world. people even said it to my face a few times, including you mum and dad saying I was a mistake and I shouldnt have been born. Well now I know what you mean! I hate myself. you guys dont realize how deep I fell into depression. Dont feel bad, nobody could save me. nobody.

Remi, I love you so much, you were the only person that understood me and didnt leave me. I know I promised you I wouldnt do this but I just cant stay strong anymore. I know you told me to tell you whenever i need someone to talk to. the truth is I barely told you anything. there is so much more but I didnt want to bother you and I felt pathetic and dramatic talking about my feelings

Anyways i'm getting off topic. dont mourn over me, theres no need. just carry on . I deserve this, I have no purpose in this world anymore, I love all you so much. I will be watching over you guys, you deserve to be happy without me. c:

I'm sorry but this is my goodbye.
P.S when she is old enough tell Rayla I love her so much and her life is going to be better without her aunt effie

-Effie Danica Pierce // 20.12.15 //

I put the pen away then went downstairs as quiet as I could. I lit 2 candles and stuck the note beside the candles on the counter. I walked out of the front door being careful not to slam it. I can't believe its the day. The day I finally get what I deserve. My suicide date.

I walked down the quiet and dark street with a cigarette between my lips. its about 11:30 pm right now its gonna q take me about 10 to 15 minutes to get to the old abandoned house down the street, I've been in there before. I used to go in there with my best friend Remi. and we always promised that when we got older we would buy it and fix it up. its a beautiful home and I hope Remi actually does restore it to its natural beauty. I looked down the now foggy road and saw the house in sight. I'm almost there. I'm coming soon god. or satan,

probably satan because of everything I have done. people have asked me "if you could fix something you regret what would it be?" and I always answer with "My existence" or "My whole life, I regret everything"

I even regret the days where I was happy. why? well because I was a complete and utter bitch to everybody.I was like the Regina George of my middle school. Everybody either worshipped me or feared me. There was this one kid that I bullied into silence. He never spoke once through middle school. He lives down my street still I think. But if you asked me what he looked like I would tell you I had no idea. I havent spoken or seen him in years. well I may have seen him but I wouldnt know.

...

I sighed in relief as I opened the door into the run down house. I picked up an old rusty knife and walked up the stairs into a room that had an old chair set under a rope which was tied to the wooden beam. I looked down at the knife in my hand. the dark dry blood reminding me off all the times i've come here to be alone. I dropped the knife on the floor stepping onto the chair. This is it. I pulled the rope towards me and put my head through the loop. people say Hanging yourself takes a while. I've heard it takes approximentley 20 minutes to die when you hang yourself. I know your probably think 'Why dont you just do it with a quicker option' , well because I deserve to feel myself losing air.

"Goodbye" I mumbled and with that I kicked the chair out from under my feet.