“Breathe. Breathe.” That's all I kept saying to myself. “Everything is going to be fine. Natalee is going to be fine. Your going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine...” Even though I told myself this over and over again I knew it wasn't true. Too much blood. Too much blood. She lost way too much blood. No one could live though that much blood loss. She's going to die. My best friend is going to die. Cold and alone out in the middle of the woods because I left her there. I just had to go find help. I left her there. Alone. What was I thinking?! God I can be so stupid sometimes! But only when I'm making a really important decision. I still can't believe I just left her there. Alone. With no one. Her best friend. Just left her. I can still hear her voice, soft and quiet, struggling to breathe, “Don't go. Please Laeh. Please don't leave me here.” But I did. I left her there alone. Dying. God I'm so stupid.
I stop running for the first time in what seems like hours. I check my watch. 3:47. Just a few hours ago my life was so normal. Almost perfect. And now look at me. My best friend is laying in the woods,dying. Bleeding to death. And me...I'm doing what I always do when I'm scared or stressed...I run.
