Up in the Air

Chapter 11

It looked like he was about to protest but my words shut him up.

"I came over to your house, I called, I talked to you at school. I asked if you were free to hang out but you were always, always busy! You put good ol' reliable Sara on the back burner because she'd always be there, right? Besides, she's a nerd so she doesn't really have a social life to keep her busy, right?"

"It's not like that -"

"I'm not finished!" I shouted. Once again, he was quiet.

"I was busy too. I was busy studying and getting good grades and maybe those things don't matter much to anyone else but they do to me. Still, I reached out to you because that's what you do for your best friend – you make time for them."

"Did you even notice that I stopped trying, that I stopped talking to you at school? I walked away from you after you did it to me," I spat out. "You dropped me like a hot potato. I got up and walked away after you got another life that didn't include me."

"Sara, you're making me seem like a jerk," the low volume in his voice tried to counteract my shouting. "I still talked to you, didn't I?"

"Oh yeah, right – you did," I sarcastically started to nod my head. "You talked to me when you needed help with your homework or to study for a test. You definitely talked to me when you needed a ride to school or you needed me to cover for you with your Mom when you went to parties." The crazy look in my eyes practically dared him to say otherwise.

"Sure, you talked to me alright. You talked to me when you needed me, Nate, but not once did you make me feel like you wanted me around."

"When I brought the cupcakes over, you said you forgave me for all the crap I pulled -"

"Did I, Nate? Did I really? Because from what I remember – and believe me I have very good memory – I didn't say I did," I paused to catch a breath.

"Did you really think I could forgive you that easily? That a box of cupcakes would earn you my trust again? Did you think taking me out to the movies with your friends would make it alright? Did you think I felt happy and warm when you took me with you because your girl friend wasn't available?"

I stopped to swallow a small lump in my throat and retreated into my anger.

Anger was good. Showing him the accumulation of hurt he'd brought me was not.

"Did you think punching the first guy to notice that I'm more than a nerd – that I'm actually an interesting person – would give you the right to call yourself my best friend again?"

I waited for him to try and defend himself. He did the smart thing and stayed quiet.

"Jenny's boyfriend has been a better friend to me than you have. Believe me, Louis wanted to clock Julian but he didn't. Julian actually would have deserved it but at least he was being his usual mean, moronic self that night."

I remembered the bags of fruit and tea Julian had brought over yesterday and felt myself flash a weird smile.

"And I know there's bad blood between you and Julian but he had the decency to come over yesterday and ask if I was doing alright. Did you?"

I had my answer in the guilty look in his eyes.

"No, of course you didn't."

I took out my phone from my pocket and pulled up the text message I sent him on Saturday morning.

"Do you see this? Do you see what I see? Because I see someone who texted her supposed best friend about how she had a hang over from hell and the flu. I see someone who actually apologized for all the trouble she caused and thanked him for helping to look for her drunk ass."