If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - A Werewolf Novel

If I Can Love You, Why Can't You? - Chp 33 [By Myself]

It was then that I discovered that the first thing that allowed him to accept and be grateful to be something he hated about himself was me. If he wasn’t a werewolf he may have never met me, he’d never have found hope and he couldn’t bare that, he needed me like oxygen and he was beyond thankful towards the gods with blessing him with me and the love I held for him. He cradled my heart with such pride and dedication it made my inner self tremble.

It was as I reflected on all of these comforting and heartwarming feelings with a goofy smile on my lips that I suddenly realized the weirdness of this situation. I hadn’t questioned it but now I was; how on earth was I able to go back and relived Will’s past through dreams?

“Soon Tanze you’ll be feeling a lot better, and clearer of all around you.”

Amber’s words bounced off the inside of my thoughts and suddenly it all fell into perspective. And although I was happy to understand, to finally see where I truly stood I was beyond enraged.

Throwing the blankets back from me and scrambling out of bed I threw my door opened in nothing but my small black yoga shorts and a white singlet and my hair an utter and complete havoc of blood red curls. I stormed down the hall and into the kitchen were Amber and Adam step into the kitchen from the lounge room laughing. Their faces froze as they saw my fiery expression and rather wisely Adam took a step back, all laughter vanishing from their face.

“You had no right.” I seethed, my eyes narrowed beyond natural towards her and my hands fisted as my nails dug and buried themselves into the palm of my hands and drawing blood.

Amber’s face showed no traces of confusion or guilt it rather showed understanding and certainty. I felt enraged at that furthermore how she felt no remorse for toying with my life let alone my entire future.

She looked me dead in the eyes as she looked at me “You had to understand Tanze, and in all honesty wake the hell up to yourself.” She said in a calm and sincere voice.

That enraged me more knowing she also, like Erin didn’t agree with my actions, for all I knew they could all be talking behind my back and bad mouthing me, the thought put me at unease. I felt ashamed as enough as it was, I didn’t need others knowing and speaking of it. I think that was where mainly my anger was escalating from, mainly myself and my stupidity but I rather took it out on someone else. Just like I had done to Will.

“You had no right to toy with my mind! With my decisions just for your own happiness!” I shouted at her across the large expanse between us.

Amber had the courage to snort at me “For my own happiness?” she cried incredulously. “Tanze I won’t be the one in pain if you and Will never get together, never will it be me in pain. It will be you so don’t dare you stand here screaming at me and blaming me for being selfish when it’s you who is being selfish!” she cried back her anger building also.

My eyes narrowed as I sent her a deadly look “I am far from fucking selfish Amber! I put my life on the line so your world could have soul mates, I put my life on hold so you could have true love so don’t you dare stand here and accuse me of being selfish!” I screamed back seeing red, I was livid.

Amber shook her head “You are being selfish, because you don’t have the balls to walk out that door and go tell your soul mate that you were wrong! That you screwed up, not him but you.” She gritted.

I shook my head “I put up with so much shit Amber, you of all people know that, and I did it all for your world and I still am putting up with it. It would be just fuckin’ peachy if I didn’t have more drama to deal with, like oh I don’t know you drugging my cup of tea!” I cried back fuming.