9.12.15

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It's nearing the end of the year, and I still haven't gotten over it. It's been 6 months. If I can't get over it now.. Then when? I find myself thinking about it day and night. First thing waking up, last thing sleeping.

How was your day?
Have you eaten?
Are you troubled?
Should I help with anything?

Anytime something happens, I keep asking myself how would you have felt. Someone said something to me... How would you protect me? But reality hits me again. And I realise I can't.

I shouldn't have let myself be like this with you. But I did. And I'm facing the consequences. I still can't let go of you. I keep looking over your pictures, thinking I could've been part of them. Jealousy penetrates through my veins every time I see someone talking to you.

But that's being selfish. Just because I'm feeling like this - doesn't mean you may feel the same. And I want to tell your everything but I have no courage to face you.

I feel you've forgotten me. I feel you don't have any interest towards me. I'm still not proven wrong.

I know we can't start over. I know it's impossible. And I know it's my fault. I'm the one who made it all turn out like this.

You seem really happy. I don't want to ruin your life again and I don't want to come in between one of the most crucial times in your life. I don't want to remind you of your past.

I want to talk to you. One more time. I want to satisfy my greed. But I don't have the courage.

I don't have the courage.

That's the problem

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