Dear Diary
I am once again kept up again from my 'insomnia' that im still apparently faking according to the parents and the doctor is yes still wrong and doesn't know what he's talking about. My insomnia that yes I do have doctors have told me and its pretty fucking obvious I mean the bags under the eyes the always sleepy getting grumpy etc anyways its been worse these last few weeks I have no clue why my overthinking I guess is going over board! Everything and everybody just seems to be stepping on ever last nerve. But with my depression and insomnia you could say that I am getting well and truly over everything right now being stuck up all night with your depressing thoughts is hard enough as it is and thinking of every little problem in my life it's like one big cloud of depressing shit up there I can tell you that much and not to spook me out enough as it is its 3am the devils hour as they say not that I believe in all that shit but I swear there's always more noise at that time ! But that seems to be the worst of my worries lets be honest.
My life is a mess well to me it is and I feel like I am constantly trying to control it and when one thing finally goes right another thing goes wrong as always.
I know I don't have it as bad as others I get that I don't have abusive parents and all that, but I don't know how they handle it I'm just not as strong as they are I guess actually no I know I'm not. I know I'm weak, useless and fat trust me my parents like to remind me every single day that's all we talk about really.
My family is an entire different story there the picture perfect family you know everything looks so happy and perfect but when you live with them and you know the actually them god are they far from perfect. My mother Linda Canoden personal assistant at my dads company where they first met walks around in channel dress suits and all, I honestly can not remember the last conversation we had were it didn't turn into fight over my weight or appearance because I'm the exact opposite to her! My Father Leo Canoden head of his company something to do with finance I think? Is like basically the exact same as my mother hence why that fit so well together and last but not least Connor Canoden my older brother 20 basically the perfect and most amazing son in the world haven't you heard (eye roll) literally a exact copy of my to parents smooshed into one person.
And then there's me the literally exact opposite of the family the failure as I am well know buy trust me!
Me the slightly over weight depressed insomnia child aka waste of space.
