Screen Burn

Episode 16

"Anyone in your situation would've been emotional and lost control over their words. I understand."

"No, there's more. I have Histrionic personality disorder," Mateo revealed.

"I don't know what that is."

Mateo sighed and sat on the floor in front on Jake. He looked wary, but started to explain his previous statement.

"Basically, I'm a clinically diagnosed attention-seeker. Remember when you told Jasper that he couldn't expect attention from others without giving them attention too? That hit a nerve, because my disorder makes me do the same a lot of the time."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea—"

"I know. We've been over this, it's alright. Anyway, I was diagnosed after I visited a therapist after cheating on my ex, to talk about the symptoms of depression I was experiencing."

Jake realized that the real reason behind Mateo's past behavior was about to be revealed, and found himself leaning forward in anticipation.

"I'd never had any long-lasting romantic relationships before I met T. I was comfortable with flings and never questioned why I didn't experience deeper feelings for anyone. But I really did like him and I wanted what we had to last."

He scratched the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable about recounting the events that lead to his break-up. Jake tried his best to appear trustworthy.

"A person who has HPD yearns for constant attention, especially from their partners. My boyfriend happened to be a popular guy, and he didn't always have time for me. It didn't affect me as much at first, or at least I pretended it didn't. He would leave me alone at parties, cancel dates and forget to respond to my calls. I know that is no excuse for what I did, but I just felt... so lonely."

The door that they'd entered through swung open and a nurse holding a cigarette stepped through. She was startled to see two strangers perched on the staircase and froze in her tracks.

"We won't tell if you don't," Mateo offered, looking at her cigarette pointedly.

She nodded, smiled at them and started to climb the stairs, presumably to get to the roof. Once her footsteps faded away, Mateo continued to speak.

"I had met his younger brother a few times, when I visited his house. A lot of the times, he wasn't even there, so I'd wait in his room for hours. Sometimes, I had to leave before he returned. His brother felt sorry for me, because he knew what being neglected felt like. T didn't spend much time with him either."

"Why do you call him T?" Jake inquired, momentarily distracted.

"He didn't like being called by his name, which is Tae-hyun, so everybody called him T."

"Your ex is from Korea?"

"Yes. Please don't ask if he looks like a K-pop singer. For some reason, that's the first question on everyone's mind when they find out that he's of Korean descent."

"That's strange," Jake commented, wrinkling his nose.

"Tell me about it. Anyway, I realized that his brother, Jeong, was developing romantic feelings for me. I felt flattered and glad, because it had been so long since anybody looked at me the way this kid did. It pains me to admit this, but I led him on. I enjoyed the attention he gave me and I wanted more."

Mateo bowed his head and scratched a dried paint drop on the floor. His voice was low and heavy with shame.

"When Valentine's Day came around, I promised myself that I would set things right. I would go over to T's house with movies and pizza. If his brother tried flirting with me, I wouldn't respond. I carried out the first part of my plan perfectly. Except T didn't come home, even after I called him multiple times."