What is normal? Please let me know, I have spent too many years wasting over these thoughts, questioning my own sanity and wondering if it even exists. I travel toward the dark corners and the cloudiest skies to find answers and silver linings but they are non existent. I am merely a salty insignificant raindrop amongst other raindrops all following in the one direction. Downward. I stumble on words, choke on commitment and cough out a string of lies just to seem 'normal' stinging my own eyes in the process of self hate. Because who wants to speak to a body that mutters 'things that do not make sense' but make perfect sense to I. I measure my own self worth by comparison to the world around me, I care too much. I am sorry you can not understand me. I speak the language of honesty, my words get lost in translation - is that what makes me different? I have secrets and so do most people, but what if those secrets are nothing but an alternated state something which we as a society deem as immoral and wrong, they force us to hide what isn't abnormal just summed upon. I am just the result of my own society and so are you, what is different about me is that I do not conform. I break the rules set by this society and the punishment is only but self torture . I have learnt that no one really cares, they are all selfish and cruel. I am different because I crave inner peace and adventure, I want the freedom the singing birds have in the skies and the colossal adventures the fish have in the sea. I crave world harmony and love. I am mature beyond my years wise beyond comprehension. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders but I am too weak, too boney, too insecure to carry it. This burden placed there by myself, it is all so self inflicted. Does this suffering come at a cost of my own mind ruling my body. This torture so addictive I can not stop and does this compulsion rushing through my veins make me abnormal?
I am desperate for change but demotivated and incapable of changing. Please correct me if I am wrong, which I am sure you shall do so, but are we all exactly the the same and am I mad for thinking otherwise?
