Take My Advice

Chapter Nine

"I want to do this once a week," he said as we were driving home. "And I'll always be here if you call me. Just for whatever you need." 

I blinked a couple of times. I'd never done stuff with my dad on a weekly basis. Ever. The closest we got had been Saturday morning pancakes, and that was more, he'd make 'em and I'd eat 'em. And now he wanted to hang out and do stuff? Was that weird or cool? I couldn't decide for a minute. 

"Sure," I said after I thought it over. "I'd like that." 

I didn't watch him drive away that time-once was enough for me. 

*** 

"So, how'd it go?" Amanda asked when I caught up with her in the hall the next morning. "With your dad, I mean." 

I shrugged. "It was okay, I guess. Totally bizarre, but okay. It's like he's suddenly taking an interest in me." 

"Oh, come on. Your dad has always loved you." 

"I know he's always loved me, but hasn't always paid attention to me. Now, it's different." 

"He probably misses you." 

"Yeah, that's probably it." 

My long hike from my new locker to my first class left me a little out of breath, so I wasn't in the best position to attack the first item on my to-do list from Bruce-"Talk to the teacher about your unfair grade." I decided it would have to wait until after class, especially since the bell was going to ring any second. This one was awkward anyway-I didn't have any unfair grades. I was getting a B- in math, but it was totally deserved. When I made this deal with Bruce, why hadn't I realized that I would have to say things that weren't true? 

Mr. Kramer started out our class with a long discussion about numbers. Okay, that wasn't unusual-this was math, after all. But he lost me right after he mentioned equilateral something-or-anothers and polynumerals or something like that. I'd have to look it all up later. I got along better with my book and the Internet than I did sitting in class, but that wasn't something I was going to mention out loud in front of people. 

While my mind was wandering, my eyes decided to take a little walk too. Colby was sitting there paying rapt attention, as though every word that fell from Mr. Kramer's lips was pure gospel truth. I missed Colby. I mean, I could still see him, obviously, but I missed the dream of Colby. Maybe it was better that I got my feelings out in the open right away so I'd stop pining for someone who wasn't interested. On the other hand, having a secret crush was a whole lot of fun, and gave me something to look forward to every day. 

"Miss Gray? Are you with us?" 

"Yes, Mr. Kramer." I snapped my eyes to the front. 

"Well, that's good. From the way you were staring at the back of Colby's head, I wasn't sure you were paying any attention at all." 

Everyone in the class began to chuckle, and if it wouldn't have been completely wrong and even more embarrassing, I would have gotten up and run from the room. As it was, I had a choice-ride it out or succumb to the humiliation. 

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kramer. I was figuring out the equation in my mind, and sometimes I zone out while I'm doing that." (That part was true.) "And I apologize to the back of Colby's head. I didn't mean to stare at it." (That was also mostly true. I was looking at Colby on purpose-the back-of-the-head thing was just an unfortunate happenstance considering that he was sitting in front of me.) 

"And what is the answer?" 

"42, sir. The answer to everything is 42." (Again, another truth." 

Everyone laughed again, but this time, it was on my terms. Mr. Kramer pressed his lips together, even though the corner of his mouth twitched and I could see that he was amused despite himself. "And your real answer?" 

"Could you repeat the question?" 

He did, his patience obviously ready to disintegrate.  

I thought it through, careful to be sure to stare at the back of Colby's head again to validate my previous statement, and then answered. "97." 

"Very good, Miss Gray." He strolled away and left me alone for the rest of the class period. 

After class was dismissed, I made my way to the front. I didn't want to do this today. Okay, I didn't want to do it at all, but today would be especially bad after what had just happened. But I knew that if I started veering off the schedule, I wouldn't get everything done. I'd start making excuses and before I knew it, three weeks would have gone by and I'd be in trouble. 

"Mr. Kramer? Can I talk to you?" 

My irascible teacher glanced up from his paperwork. "Yes, Miss Gray?" 

"I'd like to discuss the B- you gave me." 

"Yes, I'd like to discuss it too." 

"It's really not the grade I'd like." There-that was better. I could skirt around the whole "undeserved" part, couldn't I? I mean, I absolutely could not see myself trying to tell him that I really ought to have a higher grade. My pants would catch fire, I was sure of it. 

"And what do you want me to do about it?"  

"I'd like to discuss getting a better grade." I thought I'd made that clear, but I guessed not. 

"We can discuss that. My question to you is, what are you willing to do to get a better grade? Are you willing to put that brain of yours to work, or are you going to keep telling yourself that you're too stupid to do math?" 

"What?" I had no idea what he was talking about. 

"The little stunt you pulled earlier, trying to get out of admitting that you have a crush on Colby. How did you arrive at the answer?" 

I felt my face grow hot. "That was total desperation." 

"But you were able to do it." 

"Yes, I was."  

"Miss Gray, have you ever stopped to consider why I'm so hard on you?" 

Because you're a mean, mean man who eats high school students for breakfast and then flosses your teeth with their backpack straps? "No, Mr. Kramer." It had always just been assumed that he hated me. 

"You sabotage yourself at every opportunity. You've decided that you're only smart in some areas, but that you're dumb in others. I'm going to tell you a secret, Miss Gray. The question I asked you wasn't an easy question. It wasn't even a hard question. It was an extremely difficult question, and you gave me the correct answer from your head. I don't ever want to see you give me less than that again. You're selling yourself short, and it's no one's fault but yours." 

I blinked. Several times. Rapidly. I didn't know why I was suddenly getting teary. I'd certainly heard much harsher words from Mr. Kramer in the past. But this time, he was being harsh because he thought I was smart. I'd written myself off as a lost cause when it came to math, and he was sick of it. He cared enough to yell at me because of it.  

"Okay," I said after a long minute of trying to blink back the tears and not sniffle.  

Mr. Kramer slid open his desk drawer and riffled through the pages inside. "I'll tell you what. If you come back here after school, I'll let you retake your last exam. Let's see if we can pull that B- up a little bit. But I'm not going to go easy on you, Miss Gray. You're going to earn every percentage point." 

"Okay, Mr. Kramer. I'll come back." 

I stumbled out of the room, a little numb. That had gone very differently from what I had expected. But I was filled with something I hadn't felt for a long time-hope.