Indulgent Filth: a Vivid Sadness Novella | The Empty World Sequence

Ahmed's Problems

Ahmed Jinnah sat alone in his room, the doors locked, half dressed and frantic. What if those trashy divas watched the video and recognized him? What if that boy had known who he was and entrapped him? Ahmed ran his finger back through his hair, rubbed at his short beard. It could all be some scam or confidence game, entrapping wealthy men into paying blackmail.

He looked at his computer, tapped at its keyboard. It told him there were no messages.

Maybe he was being paranoid. Maybe he should have asked for the recording. He had his assistant call Sidi again. He could have cried with relief when Sidi answer. He saw Sidi's weary face looking at him.

"Jinnah, I was worried, I saw you leaving the club just as I got back."

"Sidi! Where were you? A most terrible thing has happened!"

"Slow down," Sidi said sleepily. "What happened?"

"Listen to me, Sidi. There was this boy."

"Well, that's what you went for."

"He was with the group, one of their crew I think. They had a video camera back stage, and it caught me with this young man."

"He wouldn't give you the disc?"

Ahmed rubbed his eyes. "I didn't ask. I left. Sidi, what should I do?"

"Laila knows the group, that's how I heard about them. If I explain to her...."

"Sidi, your girl's a Vampyre! How do you know they aren't supporters of Affan? Where does he stand on Darkling rights?"

Sidi shook his head. "He's said that he supports them, but everyone says that in public you know. People our age, we grew up hearing about the war, especially in Cairo...."

"I remember being in Islamabad as a boy, and seeing the fighter jets roar towards Russia. I know. But Sidi!"

"You're upset. Let me try asking her. Tonight. I'll ask her subtly as possible. Get some rest."

"You too," Ahmed said. He looked down at the bent card on his desk, Katir's back. Dangerous, yes. But they were so pretty, full of energy. Ahmed hadn't heard good live guitar music like that in some time, he'd liked it. And the boy!  It made Ahmed almost wish that he had not married such fine women.

Ahmed dozed off at his desk. He was awoken by knocking at his bedroom door.

"Ahmed, are you in? I heard you come in last night...." It was Victoria.

Ahmed aimed the remote at the door and the lock clicked open. Victoria came in with his breakfast. She set it on his desk as usual.

"Leave...no, come here," Ahmed said. He reached out a hand and brought Victoria close. She bent and he kissed her face. And then he whispered at her ear, telling her what he wished, what he wished that young man had finished the night before

Victoria drew away, looked him in the eyes. And then Ahmed saw her eyebrows knit and he became scared.

"Right now? Just like that? Is that what you expect? And then it will be over and you will say, 'leave me Victoria, I have work to do'?"

She stood and spun about, her skirts twirling about her ankles. For a second, she was beautiful, but then he saw her close the door and turn again to face him, and she was nothing but angry. Victoria came toward him slowly, her voice low but bitter.

"There is never any affection for me, Ahmed, not anymore. I would love to give to you in any way, if I knew that you cared it was me. You don't treat me fairly, Ahmed, when you marry the second time you promise to treat your wives fairly. You rarely touch me any more. If you don't respect me, Ahmed, then I will divorce you and go find another man while I am still able!" And then it seemed she wept.

Ahmed got up and paced the carpet. "Well, I am sorry if you are frustrated. But I can't be the tender one now, Dear. I won't play up to you and put your head on my shoulder. I've got problems. I've got frustrations. You want to ruin me? Go on, divorce me while I'm campaigning!"

He was sure she was crying then. "Do you even care about Pakistan at all?"

He wanted to say something. He knew he didn't care; he didn't care much about anything. But Victoria cared. And if he should somehow escape scandal and win only to lose her then it would all be worth nothing. Victoria had always been the one who cared about Pakistan and the people.

------------

Secret: Victoria knows better than Ahmed or Sidi what happened in the war, because she had a 'net friend in Europe.