Academy of the Artists

Fights and Rainy Nights

I did the only thing I could think of that wouldn't make this worse. I turned and ran. I could just barely hear him call out to me as I ran out the door. It looked like it was about to rain with the clouds prematurely darkening the skies around me. I wiped the tears off my face as I walked to the train station. I needed to try to get away from here as quick as I could.

There weren't many people walking in the same direction because they had all left already or decided to take a plane. I was glad for the sparse amount of people that was at the station. I didn't need anyone to look at me weird, not after what had just been said. The thing about me is that I knew when I fucked up but I could never stop myself from doing so. I would say something and know what I was doing while I said it, but I couldn't find it in me to lie about how I felt.

That was why I never spoke to people. Not only was I afraid that they would tell me I couldn't be who I wanted to be, I was afraid that I would say something that would cause them to walk away from me. The truth was; both Reiner and I were selfish back there. Me probably more then he was. I was mad that he thought me obligated to tell him where I was going and he was mad because he thought I accused him of being a lousy friend.

Simple as that. But the only thing that made him selfish in those events was what he said about me being fucked up in the head. Those words really hurt me. They really did, even if it was all true, it was painful to hear from someone else. It hurt to know that someone thought the same thing about me as I did. There was something wrong with me and I didn't know what it was.

That brings me to another point. When I walked into that room and seen the two all cuddled up with each other watching a movie, I felt something inside me tighten up and I felt like my body had tensed. I couldn't decipher what it had been then, but it didn't feel good. Could it be jealousy? If so, what would I be jealous of? Him for having someone like her? Her for getting his time? It sure wasn't anything close to what Eren had said because I knew that I had no attraction towards Reiner in that sense.

Of course I don't think there was anything between us anymore after that. It wasn't even a bad fight and it was a stupid one at that, but I'm a sensitive giant. Yeah I said it, I was sensitive and a giant human in the eyes of most. I was thankful for being under a roof when it started to rain since it was colder than Antarctica at the time.

The train that I was supposed to board was running about an hour and a half behind so I decided that I would just call my mom and tell her that I would be late getting home. I dialed her number and sat down on the edge of a pillar that was near me. The phone rang a couple of times which was weird for her since she is always waiting for her phone the ring.

When she finally answered, I had zoned out and I didn't hear her say hello the first time. "Hello? Hello? I'm going to hang up if no one is going to talk." I heard her say and I snapped out of it.

"No mom don't hang up." I said quickly, I realized that my voice was a bit scratchy but manageable. "My train is a little late so I won't get home till late." I told her and there was a pause for a moment on her end, as if she had forgotten what she was about to say. I was about to ask if she was okay when she finally spoke again.

"What do you mean your train will be late? Are you coming home dear?" She asked and I wondered if she really didn't know.

"Mom it's fall break. I get off for a week." I explained and she was silent again. "Mom I texted you last week telling you that I would be coming home on this very specific Friday and you answered me." I told her, my patience and strength wearing away with every word.

"Well honey, we won't be home until next Thursday. Your father and I took a trip to France. Do you think that you would be okay at the house alone until we get back? We can catch up then?" She said in a sweet voice trying to make me feel better. It wasn't working. I was at my end right there and I couldn't help but let out a shaky breath.