Torn {Bucky Barnes FanFic}

Chapter 3

"Oh come on, you can do better than that." Clint egged me on and bounced on the balls of his feet on the mat in front of me.

I smirked and held up my fists. "Be careful what you wish for, Barton."

He grinned and lowered his arms slightly, starting to say something. I took advantage of his defenselessnes and swung at him. My arm caught him behind the back and I flipped him over quickly, pinning him down in the blink of an eye. Clint groaned loudly, making me grin triumphantly. I reached down and helped him up as he grimaced.

"Told you so."

"Shut up," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I let you pin me."

"Sure didn't look like that," Steve called from the punching bags.

He and Bucky stood by them, spotting each other. My eyes met Bucky's and he smiled slightly at me. I smiled back and walked over to the bench where my stuff was. He came over as well, and sat down as I began wrapping athletic tape around my fists.

"You wanna go?"

"Huh?" He put down his water bottle and glanced up at me.

"I mean spar," I said, motioning to the mats behind us. "Come on, it'll be fun."

Bucky hesitated and looked down at his metal arm. I pretended I didn't notice and went back to my hands. Clint and Steve waved to us and left, and the gym became eerily silent. After a few minutes, I tossed the tape down and sighed.

"You don't have to worry about hurting me."

He looked up and ran a hand through his hair, but didn't say anything.

"I'm not scared of you, Bucky."

He stood up and exhaled loudly, seemingly searching for words. "Did you ever think that maybe you should be?"

"What?! No!" I said quickly. "Of course not!"

Bucky started pacing back and forth in front of the bench while pinching the skin between his eyes. "I-I don't know what to tell you, Cara. You can't keep treating me like you treat Steve, and Clint, and Natasha."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm not like them!" He snapped. "I don't belong here, I belong where I was before Steve found me."

"Don't say that," I insisted and stepped closer to him.

"I appreciate that you're being so nice to me and trying to make me feel welcome, I really do," he said lowly. "But I'm just not worth the effort, Cara."

"Says who?" I asked persistently. "Who says you aren't worth the effort, Buck?"

"Says me! I don't want anyone putting any effort into anything that has to do with me because I'm not worth it!" He yelled.

"And what if I say you're worth it?"

"Then I'd say you're wasting your time."

"And I'd say I know that I'm not."

Our noses were practically touching now, and my heart threatened to best out of my chest. Suddenly, his arms were around me, and my hands were in his hair and we were kissing. I pulled him as close as I possibly could, our mouths moving perfectly in sync. But then as suddenly as it began, it was over. Bucky flew off of me, and shoved his hand through his hair.

"I should not have done that," he muttered. "I-I have to go."

*****

A few days after the fiasco in the gym, I sat at my desk in the lab, staring blankly at the screens in front of me. Bucky hadn't talked to me since then, and any time we were in the same room, he left. I had a ton of things to do, but no motivation. My inbox full of emails and projects remained unopened, and the files on the corner of my desk untouched. No matter what I did I couldn't stop thinking about Bucky, which was a completely new phenomenon for me. Everywhere I looked, I found something that reminded me of him.