Dear May (Sequel to Dear Alice)

Dead Rose

Friday, December 5th

I can't take it anymore all these feeling blocked up inside me. I need to let it out somewhere. I remember years ago Alice had a diary, I teased her about it. I was such a horrible person back then, a follower, I was heartless. That very attitude caused my sister to die. It's all my fault. I've tried to deal with the fact, but it's been to hard to cope with. I've been through so much consoling, drugs, depression I don't really know who I am anymore, just lost. I didn't even introduce myself, I'm May Johnson. I'm 25 years old. My 26th birthday is in few months. But how can I be excited when Alice was supposed to be here, celebrating and happy. I ruined it all. After graduating from Willow Bay High School, I moved back to Woodland Creek. Actually a month ago I moved into a house near our old one on the edge of the woods. I didn't want to move into the actual house because it's to sentimental and I don't deserve to even lay a foot in there. My new house is coming along okay. It's almost fully furnished. It looks okay. I like to go in the old house every once in a while and go through Alice's stuff. Reread her dairy and look at pictures. Everything of Alice, even pictures is still in the house. It's the only thing we left.
The real reason I started this diary is so I can relieve these built up emotions. I actually feel a bit better. My phone just beeped I need to take my medication and go to my counseling sessions, I'll get back to you soon
Sincerely,
May Johnson

I'm back from my session. I'm sitting in my car now writing. I have one of those cute Kia vans. It's silver, some people call it a soccer mom car, but I like it. My session was basically the counselor trying to "break through my walls", the usual. They're probably never going to get through. I tried to live a normal life after my sister's death. I dated a guy 5 years, but it ended bad and I just got even more lost, and now I'm here.
Oh did I mention I met a friend in town, we're close now kinda. She gets me, she's been through her own ordeals. I think I'm really going to open up to her soon. Oh yeah tonight at 5 we're supposed to be going ice skating. So I'm going to go home eat and change. I would keep writing but...I kinda have to drive. Ttyl.

I'm back in the car now. On my way to the rink. It's in Central Park on the frozen over pound. They give free skates but I have my own. I have 5 minutes to get there so ttyl.

Me and friend Angel just finished ice skating and are at a café getting some hot cocoa downtown (literally down the street). But any how Angel is ordering our hot chocolate so I have time to write. I'm going to tell her what I did when we talk and see what she says, I will understand if she never talks to me again. Oh she's coming wish me luck.

My eyes are so open now. I can forgive myself just a bit. Me and Angel are still good friends. Angel is a very religious girl and here's what she said, "May, that's not your fault. It was all part of a plan" she said. "What plan" I asked. "Gods plan" she said. I stared at her confused. "It was her time to go" she said. "How could you say that, she was a teenager, she had a whole life to live" I yelled at her. "God wanted her to come to his kingdom and simply taken her. This isn't your fault, everything is for a reason. There is always a bigger picture to things, and God never gives you something he believes you can't handle. You can live with this, but and because you have to realize to realize it's not your fault" she said. I thought silently for a second. I took a breathe and sipped my cocoa, "maybe you are a little right" I said. In my head in my head I saw a dead sad rose floating in a gray looming sky. There was but one dead, dry, and papery petal left, but suddenly that petal revitalized and turned velvety red and bounced in the win and 2 more velvety petals sprouted too.
Sincerely,
May Johnson