So, before you read anything, this is all pretty much non-fiction. It's all real. And basically my little private world. Don't burst it. I only uploaded it cause Ribbon_of_Rain asked me to. And no one actually really knows me on Wattpad anyway. So, why not. The song is If I Die Young, by The Band Perry. Ryan never lived to hear it, but it fits. Um..So..here goes nothing.
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Dear Ryan,
So how's heaven? I mean, I know you were never a churchgoer, or a bible reader, but you made it there, didn't you? So how is it? I bet you're always happy, and you're always smiling. I miss your smiles. They started coming less and less the last two weeks of.. Never mind.
I miss you. I wonder if you miss me too. But missing someone like I'm missing you is a negative feeling, and I doubt negative feelings are allowed in heaven. I hope you miss me anyway.
I told Jenny and Shawn, that I'm writing you. They want to say hi. They miss you too. They never got the chance to make things right with you. They're sorry.
The sun was shining that day. I remember thinking, how ironic, for the sun to be shining, when the atmosphere is so gray. But it was still cold. Even with the sun as big as it can get in early February, it was cold.
Everyone was wearing black, except me. I was wearing that pale blue dress you bought me. Remember? We were with Jenny and Shawn, and Jenny insisted that I get it, and I gave you and IOU. I still owe you fifty-three dollars.
Everyone had to give speeches. I ran and hid right before my turn. I kind of wanted to apologize for that. But I stayed long enough to hear Mr. Chitty, do you remember him? Your eighth grade science teacher? Well he said that even though you were never a bright student, (and everyone laughed at that), you were always a great young man, and that he was proud to be your last science teacher. Can you believe it? Mr. Chitty calling you a young man. I couldn't.
Here lies Ryan Dixon
1994-2009
Sorry. Thought you might be wondering.
Mom and dad are at it again. Last night dad ran out of the house yelling at my mom the whole time. She cried herself to sleep. When are they ever going to stop? I'm only asking you because people in heaven know everything, right? But you told me they were going to work things out. I bet you twenty bucks you're wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. It's just keeps getting worse. You idiot. You liar. I miss you.
School is horrible. You, um, left, right before they gave out our end of the year project. It counted for 1/3 of our grade. I got a 97%, but I was more worried about what you might've gotten. Not that it matters now. And even if you'd gotten a 100, it wouldn't change your grade much, Mr. F-.
Your mom is doing fine, just in case you were wondering. She misses you though. Now she's in the church choir (Oh yeah, your family started going). She said you had always told her she had a voice. She does. You shoulda seen her up there. She was rocking those gowns! Haha...
I came over last night. Actually Kennedy, Jenny and I did. It was so sad to see your room the exact way it was before. Kennedy started crying on your bed. You did leave after you guys's first and only kiss. I think she deserves an apology.
And not just her. What were you thinking? Sure, I know what happened to your dad, we all did. But look where you are now! You broke your mothers heart, again, you left Kennedy hanging, after telling her you love her, and Jenny and Shawn! Man those twins can cry. And you never even said goodbye you big idiot. Why'd you have to go and KILL yourself?
Sorry. I probably shouldn't have said that. Sorry. We just miss you. You hurt everyone else just so you could be okay.
Oh yeah, before I forget. How's your dad? Is he doin okay up there? I wonder if his back is better. And all those scars and stitches from the accident, they're gone right? I bet they are. Remembering would be a bad memory. And bad memories are prohibited up there, I bet.
But I guess that means you forgot the fight? So we're okay? Atleast on speaking terms, right? Good. I couldn't bear not talking to you.
I have to go. I do miss you though. Fifteen years isn't enough to live young man. Maybe you'll remember that next time you live, probably as a flower or something.
Kidding.
About the flowers. I really do have to go.
Bye. Miss you.
Maddy
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Go ahead and criticize me on what I did wrong. Were there any grammar issues? Capitalization? I dunno.
And vote if you liked it. Cause if no one likes it I'm taking it down. No need giving everyone my life story and then finding out they don't like it. And please tell me if you don't like it. And no this isn't it: there's more. But um..so..go?
