You Know I'm Such a Fool for You

Chapter 15

It was really awkward, but after 10 minutes we were eating and Leah was getting impatient.

"Hey, weird people, please say something. Vicky, I know you're upset with that jerk, but that doesn't mean you can't talk." I saw Adrian's eyes widen but didn't reply, so Leah continued "Who is him anyway?" She asked me again.

"Can we not talk about this in front of Adrian?" I pleaded. This couldn't get more awkward.

"Oh, Vicky, it's just Adrian. He won't tell anything. Anyway, I was wondering. You said you didn't realize you had feelings for him at the beginning and that he said he was sorry and left after kissing you. What if he also didn't realize he had feelings for you as well?"

From the corner of my eyes I could see Adrian's expression. I never saw someone as surprised as Adrian right now. His eyes were huge and he looked pale.

Oh, great. Now Adrian knows for sure I have feelings for him. It's not like he haven't figured it out by now, but Leah confirmed everything. I put my head on my hands in embarrassment.

I guess I was wrong about how awkward things could get.

I thought about complying with Leah one more time, but then I reconsidered it. It was a good idea to let Adrian know what I was feeling without him having the opportunity to talk back. It was perfect, I just had to gather some strength.

"Well, Leah, I thought that too, but if he liked me, he wouldn't have had sex with another girl," I said angrily.

Adrian choked and Leah almost yelled, "You saw him having sex with someone else?"

"No, but when I found him, he was making out with this girl. After a while they got into his car and he drove away," I explained angrily.

"I'm sorry Vicky," Leah said sincerely.

Even though I wasn't looking directly at him, I knew Adrian was as white as paper. He didn't know that I went after him and that I knew about the girl. That probably ruined his plans, whatever they were. His mouth opened and closed a few times and finally he managed to say, barely louder than a whisper, "Maybe they didn't do anything."

"Yeah, right, and they were leaving to the playground," Leah answered sarcastically.

Boy, this is hard. Thinking about everything while Adrian's right in front of me is much more difficult than I thought it would be. His beautiful blue eyes seemed to be trying to say something, what was making it even more complicated, because I was tempted to hear it. I don't know what would happen if Leah wasn't in the table with us.

"Maybe he does like you back," Adrian said quietly.

"C'mon, Adrian. Why are you even saying that? Are you trying to make things worse?" I yelled. He was pissing me off. Why was he saying all those things? We both knew he didn't feel anything for me.

I was so angry and sad that it was getting hard to hold my tears, but I managed to blink them back.

"Whoa, Vicky. Adrian isn't perfect, but this isn't his fault," Leah said.

How ironic. I didn't have an answer to that, so I just kept my mouth closed.

We didn't say anything else for the rest of the dinner, but I could feel Adrian's eyes on me. I didn't want to look at him; it hurt so badly, I just kept my head down.

When we were finishing, Leah's cell phone went off and she smiled. It was probably Max. "Excuse me," she said and left the room. Shit. Now I was alone with Adrian.

"Vicky..." It was all he said. I looked up and there was so much emotion in his eyes, but I couldn't read them. Sorry? Regret?

He tried to reach for my hand but I pulled it back. "Let me at least explain."

"Adrian, please. Please, leave me alone. I can't talk to you right now," I told him, and it was true. The wound was still too raw.

Leah came back, but she was so happy after her talk to Max that didn't notice the tension between us.

"Let's go to my room," she said.

Without looking at him again I went upstairs. When we got there, I sat on Leah's bed.

"I've got something for you," she said opening one of her drawers. She seemed to look for something and when she found it, she handed me an envelope.

"What is this?" I asked her.

"Open it." I did. Pictures. There were a lot of pictures.

"They're amazing," I complimented her. They really were. There were pictures of the both of us at school, at our houses, and pictures of that day Adrian took us to the carnival.

"See, this is my favorite," she said picking a picture of me and Adrian talking. We were looking into each other's eyes, without even noticing the camera. That brought tears to my eyes again.

"You know, if you two didn't hate each other so much, I would say you looked like a couple in this picture," she told me and I laughed humorlessly.

"I don't hate Adrian, Leah," I told her quietly.

"Probably not, but I wish you two could get along better".

"Me too," I replied in a whisper.

"Anyway, I'm going to put on some music to cheer you up while I take a shower, ok?" She asked and I nodded. I couldn't say anything because I didn't trust my voice.

She turned on the stereo and headed to the bathroom.

I just stared at the picture. It was the most beautiful picture I've ever seen. Leah was right; we did seem like a couple.

Why things couldn't be easier? Why didn't he like me? Maybe if I was older things would be different.

Just then I realized which song was playing.

Linger. My favorite song; the song we sang together.

I couldn't hold the tears now. Was it really a game to him? Somehow I didn't believe it was. The way he looked at me tonight told me it wasn't, but I still don't know what he's feeling.

I can't blame him for being with another girl, though. We weren't together and I can't make him like me, I can't force him to be with me.

After all, he did say he doesn't go out with girls who like him and he definitely knows how I feel. I shouldn't have even tried to talk to him.

I heard a noise coming from the hallway. The door was half opened and I looked outside, but there was nothing there. I must be going out of my mind, I thought.

I glanced at the picture again and what Leah said came back to my mind 'I would say you looked like a couple'. Why did he give me all the wrong signs? Why did he have to treat me like he really cared about me? Everything he did was so perfect, so right, even though we weren't dating. I felt so safe with him, so complete. I already miss him. I miss his arms around me, his warm laughter and the concern in his eyes every time I had a problem. Damn, I even miss the jealousy way he used to say to stay away from his player friends.

I wish I could talk to him. I wish I could let him explain everything, but it was better if I didn't know, because I was afraid he could convince me to let things get back to the way they were. It would only hurt me. I couldn't bear to hear him say I'm wonderful and beautiful or feel his arms around me knowing it means different things for us. And if that wasn't the case, he could hurt me even more if he said he wanted to be with someone else or something like that.

Although I knew we couldn't discuss what happened, I also knew that I couldn't ignore him forever. It would hurt Leah and wouldn't change what I feel for him or what he feels for me.

I wouldn't be alone with him anymore and wouldn't let him to get too close, but I need to get myself together and be able to be in the same room as him without crying or trying to stab him. That's my goal now.

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A/N: What do you guys think? Most of you still hate Adrian, huh? But he's not a bad guy, he's just confused. ;)

And I wanted to thank you all for your support. I've been receiving lots of wonderful comments and messages. You're all awesome!

Please let me know what you think, and don't forget to vote!

Claudia