and we all go to hell // muke

1

"They did what?!", Ashton yelled. "That's complete bullshit! They can't fucking do this, there has to be a law against it or something, like... they can't!" He sounded so upset, I had never heard him like that before. He looked so furious but also like a beaten puppy and his eyes looked like they had tears in them.

"Sadly they can. As long as I'm under 18 they can do whatever they want." I said sitting down on my bed next to my best friend that I had known since third grade.

"What will you do?" Ashton asked turning to me and then laying down, looking at me. I laid down beside him, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars and moons that were taped to my ceiling since forever.

"I don't know, role with it I guess." A sigh escaped my lips. I really didn't know what to do, I couldn't just not go, because of my parents but this camp, as they called it, it would never change me.

"You won't just suddenly turn straight y'know." Ash said, mumbling into my pillow and then throwing it at me.

"Of course not but I'll just stay in there till my parents calm down about it and when I'm 18 I'll just leave and never ever come back."

"You sound like a sappy teen novel, gross.", Ashton giggled and rolled around, onto his stomach. He laid his head on his arm and looked at me. "I'm always here for you, 'kay? That will never change and I'll stand by your side, forever."

"Now you're the one sounding gross." I winked at him.

"I'm being serious, Luke. Just, if anything happens come talk to me and maybe I can help or I could ask my parents to come and talk to yours if it would help." His eyes were sincere and I knew that I could trust him with anything and everything.

"Thank you, Ash. It's nice to have someone supporting me.", I paused and gently placed my hand on his back. "I love you... bro." It sounded gayer than I thought, not like just friends would say it to each other, that's why I added the bro, making sure to grin afterwards.

"I love you too, bro.", he answered, as he sat up and slapped me on the arm. "Now let's see what the internet knows about this shit."

We opened my laptop and googled the shit out of the anti-homosexuality-camps site, finding out that this 'organisation' had eight therapists and wasn't much of a camp, because the meetings were set in a giant house. The reviews were all from happy parents, telling that their kid was changed and that they'd been happier than ever before, Ash and I nearly threw up.

One comment sounded different than the others. It was by an anonymous person and two years old, saying:
'Have fun there ;)'
Ashton and I didn't think about it too much and left the website, not being able to stand the stupidity on there.

We ate some leftover pizza and he snuck out, as we heard my parents come home. Ashton wasn't allowed at my house, because he apparently was a bad influence and we had to meet secretly or at his place. When my mother knocked on my door to ask me if I was hungry I didn't answer and acted like I was sleeping.

I didn't exchange a word, or even a look, with them for the rest of the week.

...

When friday came around I knew it couldn't go on like this any longer, because that day, the first meeting was set up. Parents and children had to come to the house were the organisation was set up and everything would be explained. On saturday our parents would bring us back and we would stay there for the weekend.

The drive into the city, to the therapy-centre was quiet and one of the longest drives I ever had. I wanted to drive alone but my parents thought I could run away or not attend the meeting so they made me sit in the backseat of their stupid SUV and drove, singing along to their stupid mixtape my father made at 17.