Caught In Snowflakes {Slow Updates}

•« Nobody can cure my sickness »•

The following months I always stood by her side. I was there when she was ready to tell our class, I was there with the chemos... I was even there, when I actually had to be at school to follow classes, in the hospital. As she got sicker and sicker, I got more and more depressed. I saw my friend practically dying... I felt horrible. I have wished that I could switch places with her. I even have offered bone marrow to donate for her transplantation.

I still remember her lying in that hospital, pale as snow and as bald as a balloon. She looked as if she was dead already and her eyes had lost the spark. I missed the spark, I missed my best friend. I wanted her to be happy, but she was in too much pain to be. She's even wished herself to just die. She couldn't live anymore, she wanted to leave. She's still here, she luckily still is.

A miracle has helped us and has taken care of that stupid cancer. She got over it, she survived it. I'm proud of my best friend, she did it. She did something that seemed impossible at some points. But now that I'm looking at the girl in front of me, I realize that maybe the cancer hadn't been cured at all. Maybe it's still in her.

What am I supposed to do now? We don't have anyone here who knows a thing or two about things like this, and it seems like we're going to be stuck in here for a while,'' I bury my head in my hands and try my best not to cry. I've managed to do it so far, but what now that I'm lost?

I'm feeling terrible... I want to get out of here. I hate this stupid pub, I hate it so damn much! I get up from my place on the floor and run to the toilets. They smell horrible, but I couldn't care less at the moment. I just want to be alone, away from all those people.

''Avery?'' I hear someone ask. I don't reply, even though they already know I'm here. ''Avery? It's me, Luke,'' the voice says. ''I know,'' I say in a whispering voice. ''Can I come in?'' He asks hesitantly. ''I want to be alone, Luke,'' I honestly say. ''I know, I just want you to know I'm here for you, okay?'' He asks. ''Yeah,'' I reply, not really sure what else to say. ''Can I please come in though?'' He asks with a begging voice, and I open the door. ''Okay, you can come in,'' I say. He walks into the small stall and without even thinking about it he wraps his arms around me.

We haven't been this close ever, and weirdly enough it doesn't feel wrong at all. It actually feels kind of right... Or is that a weird thing to say? I honestly have no idea anymore, and I don't care. ''I know this sucks, but you have to get through this,'' Luke says. ''We will be stuck in here with all of us for a while, there's nothing we can do about it. Of course, this situation sucks, but we have to stay strong,'' I smile a small smile before pulling out of his grip. ''I know that Luke, it's all just a little bit too much right now,'' I tell the blonde boy.

''I know Avery, this must be very hard for you. Seeing your best friend suffer like this is horrifying, I've been through it myself,'' he tells me. ''Really, what happened?'' I ask him. ''Well, last year we were on tour and Ashton got appendicitis,'' he tells me. ''It was so bad that he could've been dead if he wouldn't have gone to the hospital,''

''Woah, really?'' I ask Luke, and he nods. ''Yeah, it was a scary idea that we could've lost him, and you have been through that as well with Juliette, right?'' He asks. I nod my had. ''Yeah, I knew the chances of surviving were small. But I had to keep her smiling, without showing my true feelings about it,'' I shrug. ''Why?'' Luke asks me. ''Because I didn't want her to lose hope. I wanted her to keep fighting, and what would've been the use if we all showed her there was nothing worth fighting for anymore? She's a very lucky girl, and she knows that,'' I explain to him.

''Ah, I see. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea after all,'' he says understandingly. ''Well, she got better, so it helped,'' I shake my head. ''But now she's sick again,'' I sadly say. ''Hey, you don't know if the cancer came back. I might've been a virus that hit her harder because of her bad immune system,'' he says. Well, that kind of makes sense. But I can't lose that feeling of discomfort. That feeling that tells me something's not right. ''I know Luke, but I'm scared,'' I admit. These are the most feelings I've ever exposed to a boy in my whole life... ''I know you are, but that's okay. We all are sometimes,'' he says before hugging me once more. ''I'm sorry,'' he quickly pulls back. ''I just... I felt the need to...'' he can't finish his sentence because I hug him. ''It's okay, I actually liked it,'' I admit to him. Luckily he can't see my flushed cheeks because I buried my face in his jacket.