This Love is Ours

Chapter 33: Moon Halos

Right now, it's dark out.

The stars in Hawaii are far, far, more vivid and bright than the ones in Chicago.

The sky, is literally covered in them.

They are in every direction, looking upwards.

They stretch across the sky, and go on forever.

Occasionally twinkling, they dance through the night.

They are beautiful.

The ocean is dark, but the reflection of the stars can be seen on its surface.

The waves are gentle, and their sound is calming.

The crescent moon illuminates the sky, but only partially.

It is the perfect balance of moonlight and starlight.

Patrick and I sit on the beach, gazing out at the scene of pure beauty in front of us.

Both of us were tired from early and long flights throughout the day.

When we got to the beach-house, we took a long nap together, and then got up for dinner.

Now, we sit hand-in-hand, enjoying the starry night that has presented itself to us.

Patrick's wedding ring looks great on him.

The simple, silver band sits on the fourth finger of his left hand, and fits him perfectly.

Mine, goes beautifully with my engagement ring, and sits closer to my heart.

I haven't taken them off since the wedding.

I don't plan on it, either.

"I couldn't imagine being here with anyone else," Patrick says, bluntly.

I look over at him, and he keeps his gaze out at the ocean and night sky in front of us.

"I couldn't imagine my life without you, Abigail. Please, promise me you're never leaving." Pat says, looking back at me.

I smile, bringing the back of his hand to my lips.

"Never." I say, shaking my head.

With that, Patrick pulls me in closer to him, and kisses my temple gently.

He wraps his arms around my bare shoulders.

I'm wearing a strapless summer dress, and my hair sits in a lazy, high ponytail.

"Did you have a good time, at our wedding?" I ask him.

To be honest, the two short days following the wedding were busy.

The first night, we didn't go to sleep.

The reception went extremely late, and then Patrick and I ended up making love afterwards.

The next day, we were packing like madmen.

And then, we found ourselves here.

I didn't have much time to ask him what he truly thought of the wedding.

"Are you kidding me? It was one of the best nights of my life." He laughs, shaking his head.

"I agree." I smile, as he grips my hand tightly.

Patrick's body is warm, and familiar.

He brings back sensations of home.

The feel of his arms around me, his creases; those are all familiar to me.

Those are all home, to me.

"Patrick, did what I told you a few months ago about my parents and my family change the way you thought of my mom and dad?" I ask, bluntly.

Patrick looks over to me, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm serious. Did it change the way you saw my parents?" I ask, curiously.

Patrick sighs, shaking his head.

"No. It only made me gain respect for them. And for you and Chris. To have gone through something like that, and still have as tight of a family as you guys do, is incredible." Pat says, nodding.

I nod, smiling down at my lap.

The years that my dad had abandoned my family, were the worst years of my life.

They still haunt me, to this day.

The words I said, and the things I did, I regret every single day.

That part of my history, I can't take back.

I hate those parts of me.

But, apparently Patrick has learnt to love them.

The stars twinkle, and in a heartbeat, a shooting star makes its way across the sky.

"Hey, did you see that!?" I ask, laughing.

"Yeah, there was a shooting star!" Pat laughs, his voice gentle.

"Make a wish." I laugh.

"I don't have to. You are my wish, Abby." Pat says, smiling over at me.

I blush, exhaling deeply.

"Cheesy." I joke, giggling.

He looks back at me, winking.

"I know." He laughs.

And in this moment, I realize something.

I realize that no matter how much I hate certain parts of myself, I will never hate them more than I love Patrick.

My love for Patrick covers up the hate that I feel for my past.

For the anger.

For the regret.

No matter how much I hate it, I can't change it, and I can't let it change me either.

Right then, I speak.

"Pat, they say that you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself first," I say, nodding.

Pat suddenly turns his head to look at me, his beautiful eyes meeting mine.

Although there is no reflection of the stars in his eyes at the moment, I still see stars.

I will always see stars in that boy's eyes.

His starlit, elegant eyes are brimming with curiosity.

Quietly, I continue speaking.

"I say that's bullshit. There's always been parts of me that I hate about myself. But you? Christ, I love you so much, I forget what hating myself feels like."