We Need Eachother(Johnnyboy)

Feelings

Ponyboy P.O.V.

When did I, Ponyboy Michael Curtis, start having feelings for my best friend Johnny Cade?
Well, I've always liked Johnny more than all my other friends, but last week I realized what these feelings meant.I am in love with Johnny.

Johnny had been on my mind constantly and then I started to notice it.I guess it all clicked in my head when I had to write a short story in my Language class about someone who meant a lot to you, but express them through an animal and make their story based on a memory you have of this person.I swear I was writing about Sodapop, or in the case of the prompt, a monkey who was smart enough to fix a machine that all the humans were incapable of doing themselves.I had meant for it to be how even though Sodapop was a dropout, he was still smart and could do things educated people couldn't.

I was wrong.When I had finished writing and read over what I wrote, it wasn't about a monkey at all.It was about a puppy.A sad abused puppy who was scared of everything but would still do anything for his friends, in the case of my story, my puppy character fought a cruel cat at the end.I never specified that the cat died in the fight but it was implied.I knew exactly what...who I had written about.

In my head I had always compared Johnny to a puppy.Abused, sad, scared?Those were words I could use to describe Johnny.The negative ones at least.Johnny was abused and ignored at his home and his parents couldn't give a damn about him.Sad? Having your parents hate your entire existence can put anyone down.Scared? On top of the cruelty of Johnny's parents, he was jumped by a group called the Socs, the rich kids.The Socs had cut his face up and beaten him so badly.A scar remained on Johnny's tanned cheek from it.Johnny wasn't the same after that.Now, he was scared by his own shadow.

I looked at my paper and frowned and blushed.The dog fighting against the cat resembled the crime Johnny had committed.Johnny Cade murdered Bob Sheldon to prevent his friend from drowning.I was that friend.He killed someone to save me.Johnny was innocent and was overall a good kid.Murder just wasn't something that I would expect from him, but he did it.For me.

It was too late to change my story because the bell was about to ring.The teacher took all the papers back for grading and I kept blushing in my seat till I left class.I realized how much Johnny had been on my mind lately and then the next time I saw him....The next time I saw him and he smiled at me after I had made a comment on an unimportant conversation on who knows what that made just about everyone laugh or grin, his smile caught my eye.And I felt butterflies.I would call that the moment I realized I was in love.

I sat on my bed and sighed, thinking of last week.It wasn't a good thing that I was in love with another guy!People around here don't take things like that easily.Even if all of it was simple, the odds of Johnny Cade liking me back were impossible.

I got up and ran my hands through my hair.My love for my best friend just stressed me out.I hated that it was wrong.I just wished that I could just kiss him and hold him and let him know it's going to be okay without all the complications.It isn't fair.I always hated society, but now it was hurting me in every direction.I can't love who I love, I can't be who I want to be, I can't be me.If it were my decision, I wouldn't have picked being a greaser.I wouldn't have picked being a soc either.I just want to be Ponyboy. Ponyboy the person who just happens to love his friend who is also a guy.Is that really so wrong?

I changed my shirt and went downstairs. Sodapop and Steve had left for work early, which explained the cold bed Soda and I shared. Darry was cooking my breakfast and Two-Bit was on the couch with a beer in hand, eyes glued to the T.V. I sat down right as Darry finished making my eggs and bacon.He put half on my plate and half on his.
"Thanks Darry."I yawned and picked at my food.
"Two-Bit's taking you to school and picking you up."Darry said and he picked up the newspaper.
I looked out the doorway at Two-Bit.
"Can't you take me?"I asked Darry and already knew the answer.
"Doesn't my kid brother remember that I've got a thing called a job?"