Another Reverse Pines Story

Today

"Today's the day. I will finally steal that deed from that wretched Bud Gleeful." I say to myself while brushing my hair. "Never again will those Gleefuls and that Southeast bother me again.  And my brother back to normal thanks to Will Crypto."

"Uh, about that," I look to my left and see him even more worried than normal. "I-I, uh, well, you see-"

"Spit it out you pint sized isosceles, equilateral cry baby!" I exclaim

"Uh, I didn't retrieve the memories."

"Why not!"

"I was, uh, stopped by a girl."

I sigh. "Let me guess, Pacifica Southeast?"

"Yes." He sighs.

"You scrote, you little piece of- No, Mabel, calm down.  If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself." I sigh.  I flick Will and he starts to cry.  Leaving my room I think of another way to gain Bud's land.  But how?  I could blow up his office, thus blowing up the safe where he keeps the deed.  Yes, that'll do.  I search
for Hermit Determined.  He is an idiotic mastermind.

I arrive at his junk yard house. There was no door, just a blanket separating the out from the in. So I knock on the junk wall and wipe my hand on my clothes. He pops out screaming.

"Sir, if you are trying to scare me, you are mistaken." I say he straightens. "Now, I need something from you."

"Well, little lady." He says winking.

I shudder. "No." I pull out my pocket knife (What? Grunkle's little princess shouldn't be able to protect herself?) grab his beard and press the blade to his neck. "I need something that can blow up a safe. But not destroy anything in it. Can you do that and not mess up?" He nods. He backs away and gulps. Determined waddles over to a rickety chest made out of a car hood. He reaches in and pulls out a small vile.

"I don't have any explosives, they were sadly taken by Sheriff Befufftlefumpter and Deputy Nate. However, I have something that will make the safe door pop off. Squirt it on the hinges it'll fall right off."  He says handing it to me. Now for plan C of separating Dipper and Pacifica. After this Pacifica'll never want to see him again. After arriving back home, I head to brother dearest's room. On his dresser is a bottle of pills. His disorder will make go buck wild and make him look like a fool. With his dissociative personality disorder and anxiety clashing, she'll hate him. After she hates him I'll return his meds. I shove the bottle in my coat pocket and leave his room.