Shadows

1. Pilot

Alonzo

The smell of bleach burned my nose as I woke from my rest. The staff must be moping up blood again. I sit up from my bed slowly feeling shame and sadness.

"I killed my family." I said to myself quietly. I always remind myself.

Every morning I feel remorse. I don't know why I'm still in this crazy hospital. I swallow hard. Everyone is sick here and I feel like I'm the sickest. Keys started to jingle by my door and I knew the nurse was unlocking my door.

"Dammit." I noticed that I have to take my daily meds today. Supposedly it's supposed to make me calm. The nurses red heels tap the cold cement floor when entering my room.

"You ready Alonzo?" Her sweet southern voice gave me a shiver down my spine.

I nod. I grabbed the two little white pills on the tray and swilled them. She made sure I swallowed them by checking my mouth.

"You're all done." She smiles lightly and walks outside the room with the tray. "You can go outside now."

In a instant, she was gone. A breeze of lavender entered my room. Strange. It's been awhile since I smelled something living.

I got up from the bed and took a quick glance at the window above the head of my bed. It wasn't that bright. Maybe a storm was coming. Usually Colorado would be sunny and bright.

My head quickly stares at the door when I hear one of the patients screaming down the hallway. I poked my head out from the doorway and see two men in white dragging a girl about 15 years old inside her room.

"Someone didn't wake up well." I muttered.

Once it was quiet again I walked down the hallway staring at the ground. It was cold. I then hear a voice that stopped me in my tracks. "Good morning."

It was Julian. He was sent in the institute before me, he is about 32 years old. I heard that he had a personality disorder.

I smile and nod. Since it was Friday, I usually write in my diary in the guest room. I always hid my diary in my pants. It looked kinda odd walking around with a book in my ass, but I can't get caught with it. When I push open the double doors, a warm breeze flew through my body.
Like usual, not that many patients were in there. I took my diary out from my pants and sat near a window where you could see a perfect view of the woods. I moved the strap from my book and two things slid out; A pencil and a photo of me, my mother when she was pregnant and my dad. I smiled and slid the photo back into the back of the book. I picked up my pencil and began to write the date.

May, 2nd, 2015

Dear diary,
I see what I've done wrong in my life.
The marks on my skin are meaning something to me again. I promise I'll stop. But for now I need to feel the pain my family felt. Sometimes my skin screams my name. "Kill yourself already!" I get headaches and start losing control. This one time my depression kicked in and I tried to escape. But it was too late. I'll come back next Friday; hopefully.

Sincerely,
A.J

"Breakfast is being served!" Spoke the intercom. "All patients head to the cafeteria."

I looked at the big, old, dusty clock across the room; 8:30AM. I'm not really hungry, the food taste like shit anyways. I look out the window for a while. The surface of the glass felt warm and soothing. Then I start seeing droplets of water falling onto the window. I loved what days they're the best. When I was five I remember dancing in the rain when I was in Florida for my cousins wedding.