Temporary Pain

Chapter Fifteen

I stared at the doctor in shock. Oh my God. I thought I had longer. This isn't possible. I'm not ready.

"I understand that this is a shock Ms. Hudson, but things like this do happen," the doctor said kindly. "Run it again. There's no way this is happening," I replied shakily.

"We ran your blood multiple times Ms. Hudson, there is no doubt at this point."

"But we took precautions. I'm on birth control," I countered. Oh my God. "Birth control isn't a guaranteed method to stop contraception Ms. Hudson," Dr. Montey explained. "But we used condoms too! There is no possible way! No matter how super my boyfriend's sperm seems to be, it's not that super!"

Dr. Montey chuckled and wrote something on the papers in front of him. "Are you familiar with the concept of Murphy's law Ms. Hudson?"

I shook my head slowly. "Well simply, it states 'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong'." I stared at him for a moment. "Murphy doesn't sound like much of an optimist," I grumbled. "He doesn't does he?" He stood and left the room unaware of the imaginary knife I was stabbing him in the back with.

I'm fucking pregnant. Holy shit! I'm pregnant! Panic, anger, fear, and excitement ran through me as I sat on the gurney.

Oh my God. What am I supposed to do with a baby? Holy shit!!! How will Carson take it?! He would be an amazing father. The best.

What if I tell him and he pulls a Christian Grey? Storming out the apartment to get drunk with his ex? Oh my God! What if he leaves me? I wouldn't survive that. After his childhood I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even want children.

Thinking about his reaction installed a fear in me like no other. I took a deep breath around a sob.

I wanted to keep this baby and if Carson didn't then ...then he didn't need to be in he or she's life. A nurse came in a while later and gave me some medicine for the morning sickness.

It was one by the time I left the doctors office and panic was still rushing through me. I pulled the car into the parking space but I wasn't ready to get out yet.

I placed a hand on my stomach and it hit me all over again. There was a little Carson growing inside of me. I realized that with a man like Carson there was no possibility that this baby was a girl. No possibility.

When I finally reached my apartment the TV was playing extremely loud. "Derek?" I called. No response. "Derek?" I shouted louder. I heard a panicked shuffle and headed towards the living room. "Yeah?"

He was lounging on the couch with a beer in his hands and a football game was on TV. "Can you turn that down?"

He did as I asked and tilted his head towards me. "How was the appointment? Everything okay?" I hesitated contemplating if I should tell him. Carson should be the first to know. "It was okay. Just a little bug," I lied feeling a little guilty.

"That's a relief. You want a beer?" I shook my head and reminded myself to read some handbooks on do's and don'ts.

"You sure your okay Amy? You look a little pale," he noticed. "Oh I'm fine. The medicine they gave me just makes me a little tired. Nothing to bad," I answered shrugging him off. I was going to have to hide this better if he was going to be this perceptive. He nodded as if he believed me and went back to watching his football game.

My phone rang, distracting me from the situation at hand. "Hello?"

"Hey Amy. It's Celia. I was thinking about you and realized we haven't spoken since Carson was in the hospital."

"Oh hey Celia. What's up?" It was odd for her to call me for no reason. "I just wanted to see how you were doing-"

That seemed fair enough.

"And if you and Carson are still running strong." Ah! Now that sounds more like Celia. Worried about her son. "Me and Carson are good, his partner has been in a coma for a few weeks though. He's taking it hard. But I got him. He's not going anywhere." Hopefully. Who knows when he finds out about our baby.

"Is he with you?"

"No he's down in Mississippi for work. He just left this morning and won't be back for a few days," I answered. "He left you for work! That stubborn man," Celia cursed. I laughed loudly in shock of the very unladylike words coming out of her mouth.

Lord this woman was a hoot. "Tell him those exact words Amy. Don't mince."

"I don't think he'd appreciate that entire cöck sucking bit," I breathed. "Of course he won't but that's besides the point. I want to take you out for a late lunch. Today around three?"

"Umm sure," I stuttered. Soon after we hung up I got into the shower. I wanted to get pretty. It's safe to say Carson's mother was rolling in dough after her divorce was settled a few years after Carson's dad was arrested, not that he'd ever expect or accept a dime of it. And it was just my luck that she had chosen one of the most expensive restaurants in Chicago.

Nothing I could ever afford. Even with the the money I had inherited after my parents had passed. I pulled on a sweater and my favorite pair of jeans but rethought it. I quickly changed into a blue polka dot dress and a heavily padded jacket.

I looked myself over in the mirror before grabbing my purse. "Where are you going?" I let out a startled scream and jumped slightly.

"Jesus Derek! You can't just sneak up on me like that," I snapped. "Whoa! I'm sorry," he defended himself, "it won't happen again." Now I felt bad. Dammit. "You shouldn't apologize. I'm sorry I snapped. I'm going out for lunch with Celia," I explained.

"Umm I know I should probably remember who that is but I really don't. Maybe you could refresh my memory?"

"She's Carson's step mom," I answered. Recognition crossed across Derek face as that tid bit of information sunk in. "Oh, well tell her I said hi," he replied shortly before leaving the room. I have no idea what that was about.

*******

I was relieved when Amy finally left. I was in desperate need of a high. I pulled out a little bag with Benz in it and smiled. Oh this was gonna be so good.

I quickly injected it and went off into a distant world. We're so close Amy. I didn't believe that bullshit she fed me about being in love with Carson. Just another one of her games to make me jealous. Surprisingly, she was good at that.

With Carson gone for the next few days I finally have the chance to expose him. Tell Amy the truth about his past. I just had to wait for the right moment.

I also had to do something about Simon Pallas. He was alive still. In a coma but alive nonetheless. I couldn't have that. He was a lose end I couldn't afford. If he were to wake up and tell the FBI Amy and I were never going to stand a chance at our lives.

The problem was that they had the hospital wing Agent Pallas was in was on lock down. No one was aloud in except if you were searched.

I had to wait at least a week before Agent Reynolds was put into the rotation. But Simon might wake up before that. What a clusterfuck.

★★★★★★★★

Wow. Chapter fifteen it feels like I just overcame some giant fear. Yay!