Over the Garden Wall: Gender-Bended

Chapter 1: The Old Grist Mill

"Well, you're rubbing your eyes," Gret replied. "And I'm answering your questions."

"No, no. Gret. I mean, a bird's brain isn't big enough for comprehension of words and speech," Wirt explained.

"Hey, what was that?" the bird asked, obviously offended.

"I mean, uh... You're weird. I mean, as in, not normal. Uh... Gah! Stop talking to it, Wirt," Wirt scolded herself.

Meanwhile a black turtle had crawled up the large tree root the girls were by and Gret popped a blue-wrapped candy onto its shell. Did turtles like candy? Only one way to find out!

"Excuse me, 'it'?!" the bird asked Wirt. He was getting pretty mad. Gret saw the turtle walking away and tossed it another candy.

"What are you kids doing here?!" a loud, gruff voice demanded. The girls and bird turned to see a bright light and the woodswoman from before, holding the light in a black lantern. "Explain yourselves."

"I'll see you later. Bye!" the bluebird chirped and flew off, leaving the girls.

"C-calm down ma'am," Wirt squeaked again, intimidated by the woman's grim face and spooked by the sudden light. "Whatever you do out here is your business." Her eyes darted to the axe. "We just wanna get home with all of our arms and legs attached."

"The woods are no place for children," the woodswoman continued, her voice softening a bit. Then it grew scary again when she added, "Don't you know the Beast is afoot?"

"Beast?!" Wirt repeated. This place kept getting weirder and weirder and creepier and creepier. "We don't know about any Beast. We're just two lost kids trying to get home."

"Well, welcome to the Unknown, ladies. You're more lost than you realize," the woodswoman stated. Gret and Wirt shared a glance and then looked at the oozing tree. A grim mask of death seemed to be carved into it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the woodswoman's gruff voice and terrifying first impression, she actually offered to help the sisters and took them to an old mill. "I found this homestead abandoned," she explained after leading Gret and Wirt inside. "I re-purposed its mill for my... needs." She took a flint and stone to make sparks. "You and your sister should be safe here while I work." The sparks grew into a flame and soon a bright fire lit the cozy-looking parlor with a soft, warm glow.

"Candy trail, candy trail, can-dee trail," Gret sang and crawled backwards, placing a trail of brightly-wrapped candies in her wake.

"So... What exactly is your work?" Wirt asked. It seemed odd to her that someone would be living alone in the woods and that a woodswoman would need a mill for work, but she didn't add that out loud.

The woodswoman sighed. "Everyone has a torch to burn," she explained. "This one is mine." She patted the lantern at her side. "I grind the horrid Edelwood trees into oil to keep this lantern lit." She took a stick from the faggot strapped to her back, snapped it, and tossed it aside. "This is my lot in life. This is my burden."

"This lady sounds loony," Wirt whispered to Gret. "Maybe we should make a break for it. Except, she must know the woods really well, so we may need to knock her out first." Gret nodded. "Except... that may turn out really bad. Yeah. Bad plan. Forget it."

"Okay," Gret replied casually.

"What are you whispering about?" the woodswoman growled and turned around to face them.

Wirt was about to say, "Nothi-"

"We're talking about running away out of here," Gret said.

"Shh!" Wirt hissed.