The Journals of the Ruins: River of Lost Memories

Chapter 5

Have you ever experienced maybe a dream that seems so real that it makes it difficult for you to not forget it? Well, that's basically all of the lost memories so far, and this recent one, I don't even know what I should label that as. It's almost like a nightmare, I mean, they all are, but that one was more intense, like whatever I do, it seems to kill everyone around me. But, this time, I killed myself. There is no other way to look passed this. It's either I have them killed or myself. Although, I do have to say that it was pretty darn funny when I let the Journal slip from my fingers and into the dark, endless abyss, and it made him furious. Wow! I can't stop laughing. This is just too funny.

***

I am rubbing my arm as they feel like that they have been cut with a thousand razor blades. There is no sign of a cut on my arm. My insides feel like they have been fried, like I touched something and it sparked me. Paisley walks over to me with a piece of torn cloth, from her pant leg, soaked in water. I sit up to look at her again. I smile at her. She sits down on the grass next to me.

"How are you feeling?" She asks me sweetly as she places the wet cloth on the spot on my head where it is bleeding. I shrug.

"I don't even remember what happened." I tell her as she removes her hand from the cloth on my head. I hold the cloth on my head. She looks at me with concern.

"Well, you managed to fall out of the tree. You hit your head on the way down." She tells me. I smile with my face towards the ground. A giggle manages to slip from my mouth. "What?" She asks confused. I lift my head up to look at her.

"Nothing. It's just that explains so much. You don't even know. Like for instance, when I awoke, I felt some weird tingling and pain all over my body. I guess it was just the tree branches brushing my skin on the way down." I smile.

"Maybe," She laughs. "were you dreaming?" I bite my lower lip.

"It," I pause to take a deep breath. "was more than a dream, it was real." She tilts her head in confusion. She moves closer to me. She grabs my hands and holds them. She stares into my blue eyes, the same way I look into hers.

"Sometimes dreams can feel real to people, but when they wake up, it was only a dream. I understand what you're going through. I've had many dreams that felt all too real for me." I let go her hands. I shake my head. I get up and start pacing back and forth.

"Paisley, that's where you're wrong. You don't understand. You never will. No one has experienced the same things that I have experienced. For me, it wasn't a dream. It really was real. You know the water at that river? The River of Lost Memories? Well, that really does grab your hand and drag you in showing you these vision-like memories that are either memories that haven't happened yet or it will happen. I have been experiencing those lost memories. I have had 3 and I never told you all of them in full detail. You die in them. Which is the reason why I have to be near you, I need to protect you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was the reason you died. And that was the only the first one. Then, both you and Tallan die, I am the cause of your death. You are hanging off an edge of a cliff, and I try to help you, but Anathora come up next to me," She rolls her eyes. "and she grabs my hands, which are holding yours, you start to slip. She places my hands on hers and she wants me to kiss her, but I move my hands and grab yours. Then she does it again, except she leans in and kisses me. She moves my hands while we are kissing, then I hear you scream. You fall. I watch you fall with tears in my eyes. Your frail body hits the ground hard. Then, Tallan dies. He gets beheaded by some Skinchuggs. It is the worst thing I can ever have as a lost memory. Too much blood. Everywhere. And, to make matters worse, I killed myself in the final one." I shake my head. "I know that it's going to be like that in real life, it's either you guys die because of me and I'm left here all alone, or I kill myself just so I can save you guys." Tears form in my eyes, a catch grows in my throat. "I couldn't live with myself if that happened. There is no other way of dealing with this, sadly. I wish that there was. It's either I let you guys die because I won't give up the Journal, or I die with the Journal, and you guys live." I sigh. "Promise me this, Pais." She looks at me stunned. I take a deep breath. "Remember me, please." I feel my eyes fill up with tears. The tears don't stop running. I move my head down and cover my face with my hands. I don't want to look at her because I don't know how she is going to take this. I hope she doesn't think of me in a different way. I feel a slight nudge next to me, a hand that begins to rub my shoulder.