You don't know me [phan]

#17 - Radio horrorshow

A/N:
Yo guys, i want feedbaaack <3 talk to me lovelies, you have the most amazing brains that can form these utterly brilliant opinions. Please share them. And don't forget to enjoy this chapter, xx
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AFTER – Chapter 17
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Roughly forty minutes later I am silently crying at my desk as I scroll through the word-document that I’ve filled with all of this person’s hate. In the left hour she has left comments on all of Phil and my videos from the last two months. Every message says something else but mostly she claims to have ‘Phanproof’ and to know horrible secrets about Phil. In one comment she even warns me personally: “He’s not who he says he is. He doesn’t care. Not like you do, Danny.”

That message scares me the most and it’s the harshest one, but with a “kill yourself and do it right this time” on a firm  number 2.
It’s what I’ve been fearing, what I seem to have known all along. Phil can’t possibly love me. He’s so sweet and utterly great and I’m so thoroughly fucked-up and disgusting. He’s Phil and I am me.
Next to that I really don’t want people to know about my attempted suicide, I was so happy when I realized that the people that must’ve noticed something – like the people in the park – didn’t share anything. And now this.

“Dan?” I hear Phil gasp softly as his silent feet hurry towards me: “Oh, Dan. Don’t cry, babe.” I let out a soft wail as he tightly hugs me from behind. “What’s that? Let me see…”he whispers in my hair as he quickly scans through the now six page long document filled with hate. He sighs again and presses a firm kiss on my head and partly on my ear. I let out another whine and lean into his touch, desperate for consolation.  Phil carefully shifts his body until he can pull me up, away from the computer and the hateful words. Into his arms.




It only takes him a couple of soft kisses in my neck to dry my tears and lift my spirits; can a person who is completely indifferent towards another be this gentle?

I huff in faked annoyance as he strokes the hair from my face whilst looking like I’m the most treasured gem. The look pushes me over the edge to actual annoyance. I pull my face away from his touch as I mumble: “Stop looking at me like that. Phil tilts his head in a way that would make the fan girls explode as he innocently asks: “How do I look at you?” I softly growl in discomfort and say in faux nonchalance: “Like I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, or like I’m the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.” Phil rolls the muscles in his shoulders and leans in to kiss me. He quickly pulls back an di reluctantly let go of his lips, being more touched by our previous little make-out session than I realised.

Fortunately he stays close, I can feel his warm breath brush my face as he speaks: “But that is both so very true.” He giggles at the disgruntled face I pull and adds: “and I think the fans agree, if not on both than definitely to the latter.” As if he still senses my scepticism he leans in to kiss it away. He kissed my nose and comfortingly whispers: “Which is why you shouldn’t worry about this silly goat. She might be persistent, there is a reason why they call themselves the Phamily.”
I slowly smile back at Phil as realization dawns upon me: “The fans will strike back?” I say, the question mark almost inaudible but obvious enough for Phil to chuckle: “Yes they will.” He smiles sweetly and reconnects our lips. I smile into the kiss and then happily answer it.

*#~o~#*

“Good evening lads” we get greeted as Phil and I stroll into the hallway outside the studio were we’ll be having our show tonight. “Enjoyed the holiday?” Pulse quickening, body heat rising, muscles quivering. The broadcasting hasn’t even begun yet and I can already feel a new anxiety attack building up. I take a deep breath and retort to just watching Jameela as she’s bringing her show to an end. We’ll be up soon.

I bring a now vigorously shaking hand up to my face and cover my eyes and fore head with it. As I breath out slowly I can’t help but let my mind wander back to this afternoon. Fearing for my career and mostly my sanity I choke out a soft: “What if, Phil?” he softly reaches over and supportively strokes the back of my hand: “It’s going to be okay, Dan. Don’t worry.”

Newsflash (or internet news if you please): Phil was wrong.
Almost a full hour in, just after the Fanwars we get a call. The call I’ve been fearing for the whole afternoon and evening. I let out a soft wail as I recognise Stella’s French accent. I should have known it would be her. I feel cold shivers run over my whole body as I see Phil’s body tense up at the mere sound of her voice. She sounds sweet and slick, like syrup or honey. But with a foul aftertaste.
As soon as she notices she’s on air and no longer trying to get through she drops the sweet act and starts yelling at Phil. My ears buzz as I try to make out some sensible words from her anguished screams. She swears and yells how he betrayed her and how by being untrue about our relationship, we’re betraying our fans. She yells how horrible and slutty Phil is and I am soon on the verge of crying. Neither of us have yet moved, paralysed by the shock.


Phil is the first of us to wake up from our trance.  But just before he manages to half-dive over the control panel to hang up her call, she manages to choke out: “Phil, I’m pregnant!”