Abstinence

Chapter 3.

"I don't care, since I moved into your house, Wade and Geoff have made me feel safer, and Geoff when he takes me out places. I feel safe knowing he's there with me."

"Alice stop saying that to me." What? Is he getting jealous of Geoff?

"Are you serious? It's his job to keep me safe, your orders Hayden." He will never let go of the time I told him I thought Geoff was attractive, while I was drunk. His jealousy is going to ruin him. "Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Lina?"

"No, you saw the surveillance, nothing happened."

"You kissed her." I remind him.

"She kissed me." He corrects me.

"But you kissed her back." I retort.

I knew bringing up this subject was going to be a touchy one, but even though I'm questioning him about the kiss I'm not angry with him. I can't be angry with him. It would be unfair of me to be angry with him over a kiss when I went further with someone I knew he had a strong distaste for. In my drunken, clouded, sex-crazed mind my subconscious knew exactly what it was doing.

So I can't be angry with him over this kiss with Lina, I can only be disappointed with him for putting us back in this situation. The last time, I didn't even want to look at him let alone kiss him.

But now, I'm attempting to look right past it to just get answers to simple questions. Did he fuck her somewhere else that wasn't recorded on camera? Did they go out after that night and have consensual or nonconsensual sex? Is he guilty or innocent? Why did he kiss her? I think those are all really simple questions. Right?

He sighs, "Let's not do this. I want to enjoy you being here with me. Stop asking about it."

It's making me angry that Hayden won't tell me what happened. For a small millisecond I start to believe that he did actually have sex with her, maybe he didn't rape her but something else happened. It wouldn't take much to get Lina to agree with sleeping with him, she loves him and she wants him. It also wouldn't take much for Hayden to sleep with her, he likes sex and she's willing to give it to him.

I have to remind myself that he wouldn't rape her let alone sleep with her even if it were consensual. He made it clear to me that same night that he loved me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I believe him. I will always believe him.

"I'm sorry." I talk-whisper.

"Don't be. Robert and I were talking and we are going to work on a plea deal with the judge tomorrow." Hayden tells me. "I want to come back home to you Alice."

Robert is Hayden's lawyer, apparently he's one of the best in Seattle. I will see about that when Hayden has to go to trial. In my eyes he will only be the best if he can get all of the charges dropped.

"Hayden I have questions and you're not willing to answer any of them. I don't know how to feel about that."

Frowning he reaches across the table and takes my hands in his, "Do you trust me?"

"Always Hayden, you know that."

"Baby, I promise nothing happened between us. You have nothing to worry about. I love you, okay?" He says kissing each knuckle in turn.