Recovering Love: Decisions, Decisions, and More Decisions

Chapter 2

            I had to tell Kate that I wasn’t doing so well.  My head was killing me, and I was sick to my stomach.  My chest was killing me, along with my leg.  I wanted to give up on life so bad.  But what about Kate, I thought.  Before Kate reached my room, I blacked out.  Unlike the first time, I didn’t come out of the black haze, yet I knew that I wasn’t dead.

Kate’s P.O.V.

            A nurse walked into the hospital room that I was staying in.           

            “Kate, I want you to relax,” the nurse told me.  Then she blurted out, “Your mom has gone into a coma.”  I stared at her in absolute shock.

            “How can this be,” I asked, close to tears.  “I thought that she was doing well this morning.”

            “We thought so too, but sometimes these things happen when the body is under too much stress,” the nurse explained.  “I’ll have a doctor come in and explain what happens now in a few minutes.”  At that the nurse left the room, and I broke down into tears.

            “Christian,” I said and he was right there by my side immediately.

            “What is it,” Christian asked me.

            “You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this,” I told him.

            “Neither should you,” he told me.

            “I know,” I sighed.

            “Do you want to go and try to talk to your mom?  I read somewhere that even though a person goes into a coma, they can still hear what’s going on around them,” Christian offered.

            “We better wait until after the doctor comes and talks to me.  I can’t do this anymore, Christian.  I feel as if I need to relapse.”  We both heard a gasp from Christian’s mom who was sitting across the room from us.  Judging from her shocked expression, I knew that she had heard what I had just admitted.  “Oh no,” I said.  “What have I done?”

            “Mom, go out in the hall, I’ll be out in a few minutes to talk to you,” Christian said, and his mom did as he said.

            “Christian,” I pleaded, “if I had just followed through with all of those suicidal thoughts, nobody, let alone you, would be in this mess.  My mom wouldn’t be dying because of me,” I told him.

Christian’s P.O.V.

            I was shocked at what Kate had just said, but her next statement shocked me even more.

            “Christian, I want you to realize that if my mom dies, I’m not going to want to live anymore.”

            “I kind of had a feeling that you would say something like that.  I just want you to know that I will do anything in my power to save you,” I said honestly. 

            “Come here,” Kate sighed.

            “Hold on, I should go talk to my mom first, I’ll be right back,” I told Kate.  I got up from the chair that I had been sitting in, and then I left the room.  I found my mom sitting on a bench not too far away from Kate’s hospital room.

            “Mom, why did you have to gasp,” I asked her.  I walked up to her and sat down next to her on the bench.

            “Honey, what is she talking about when she says that she “feels like she’s got to relapse”,” my mom asked putting quotation marks around basically what Kate had said.  My mom and I had a really great relationship, but was it really my place to tell my mom about Kate’s struggle not to self-harm?  No, but by now she was probably thinking that Kate was addicted to drugs, which was not the case.