Kevedd One-shots

Making A Scene

"Kevin, what are you-"

"Just move over. I'm sitting with you."

"But-"

"This is a special day for us and I want to sit next to you. Move it," Kevin teased. Edd did as he was asked and Kevin easily squeezed into the booth with him. He casually draped an arm around Edd and made a few minor adjustments until he felt comfortable.

Edd's skinny frame curled itself into Kevin's side which brought a bright smile to Kevin's lips. He kissed Edd on the temple to further solidify his claim that he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. Couples cuddled in booths all the time. In fact, there was a couple halfway across the room doing the exact same thing except the girl was on her phone texting and completely ignoring her boyfriend.

"I'm going to have to re-position the napkin so that I don't get any foodstuffs on you," Edd pointed out as he tried to fiddle with the cloth napkin on his lap.

"Don't worry about it," Kevin said into Edd's ear. He loved being this close. Edd always smelled like drier sheets and shampoo. It gave Kevin the feeling of being home.

"But you're wearing your good jeans," Edd argued. Like Kevin ever cared that his jeans got food on them. That's what the washing machine was for.

Before Kevin could answer, a loud clanking of silverware caught not only his attention, but the attention of several restaurant patrons. Instinctively, he honed in on the source of the sound to find a middle-aged couple that were obviously well-off. The wife looked a little too dressed up to be at a steakhouse and the husband still hadn't changed out of his work suit.

Kevin rolled his eyes. He had a feeling he knew where this was going. The couple probably didn't like their food or it hadn't been prepared to their liking and they were going to take out their frustrations on the poor wait staff. He planned to ignore the couple, but a nudge from Edd changed his mind.

"They're staring at us, Kevin," Edd said. "The nerve."

"What?" Kevin asked. Sure enough, when he looked again, the wife was still staring, horrified. Kevin looked around, thinking that maybe his nose was bleeding or that he'd spontaneously caught fire.

The wife obviously tried to be discreet about it, but the second she'd dropped her silverware to her plate, the entire section had their eyes on her. It was impossible not to hear what she said to her husband.

"What is their kind doing out in public like this? This is a family restaurant!"

"Now, honey," the husband replied. Kevin thought for a moment the man was going to reprimand his wife for being so rude so that Kevin wouldn't have to do it himself, but he was wrong. "Don't bring attention to yourself. I'll have the manager come over and have them escorted off the property."

The wife, in an attempt to keep herself looking prim and proper, daintily dabbed at her mouth with the corner of her napkin. "Thank you, dear. I can't imagine why a place like this would even allow such abominations to walk through their doors. See if they'll get our business again. We shouldn't have to eat for free after being subjected to such.... Such filth!"

Kevin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Are these jerks for real?" he wondered out loud.

Edd, probably sensing that Kevin was getting riled up about the situation, placed a calming hand on Kevin's chest, but it had no effect. Kevin could feel his blood boiling under his skin. He itched to jump up from his seat and sock the couple in the face-upper middle class or not.

"Kevin, please. Let's just enjoy our meal."

"Not if they're going to tell management to make us leave for just existing!" Kevin barked. Half of him wanted to take out his frustration on the couple and the other half wanted to piss them off even more by blatantly making out with his boyfriend. It was a conflicting emotion he never thought he'd have to face.

The second half of his emotions won out when Edd began making smooth circles on Kevin's chest with his hand. Kevin didn't stop glaring at the couple, but he stopped getting the urge to spit in their food. He'd come a long way from just socking people. He was a bigger man than that. Edd taught him that. It was one of the reasons he liked the dweeb so much: Edd made him a better person.

Except sometimes Kevin's bad side rubbed off a little on Edd because Kevin could feel the shaking of Edd's upper body as he erupted into giggles. "I desire to kiss you," he chuckled, looking over at Kevin with wide eyes. "Hurry, while their interest is piqued."

"Double D," Kevin murmured, a bit surprised at the audacity. He thought they'd gone pretty far already, but kissing? He was so down with that. It was just ten times better now that Edd suggested it.

Kevin barely had the chance to agree before Edd closed the distance between them with a solid kiss. It wasn't one of their deeper kisses, but it was wonderful all the same. They didn't break apart, even when the rude woman from the other table let out a loud gasp.

When they finally separated, Edd's bottom lip looked red and swollen and Kevin realized he'd probably been biting it. He must have really been into it... and Edd hadn't even stopped him. That more or less meant Edd was as peeved about the situation as Kevin was.

Their end of the restaurant became eerily silent. Kevin cautiously looked over to the offending table in question and found the couple to be speaking to the manager. It didn't look good. Kevin braced himself for the inevitable eviction. He wondered if he could cause an even bigger scene by knocking over some water or flipping the bird a few times? That ought to show someone... something.

Edd's grip on Kevin's shirt tightened as the manager made his way over to their table. While Kevin's initial thought was that Edd was frightened, the idea flew away immediately when he realized that Edd was actually holding Kevin back. He forced himself to stay seated but his foot tapped with increased agitation.

"Gentlemen," the manager greeted them. He looked sad. It was probably fake. He probably had to look sad while kicking them out so he wouldn't feel bad about doing it. The manager was close enough that Kevin could kick him from under the table. What was stopping him? Social decency? Fuck that. Just as Kevin poised his foot for a good kick, the manager spoke again. "I apologize about the events of the evening. It has come to my attention through several customer complaints that a certain patron has been antagonizing you?"

Kevin paused mid-kick. Wait, what? "You're not kicking us out?"

"No, sir," the managed replied. "I have asked the offending party to leave the premises."

Kevin's jaw dropped and he immediately turned to Edd to make sure he'd heard the statement correctly. Edd was beaming at him, gap-toothed and beautiful as always. It was Edd who spoke enough to clear up the situation. "They said nothing to us, sir," he began. "Although they did mention some unkind names and announced their intention of getting us removed from the building."

"I see," the manager nodded. "I want to thank you for not making a scene."

"Oh we ma-" Kevin began, but Edd cut him off with a sharp nudge to the side. Kevin frowned. Had the manager missed their make-out session? Had all of that been for nothing?

"Thank you for going above and beyond, sir," Edd spoke in place of Kevin. Normally Kevin would be pissed, but Edd had a way of turning a potentially horrible social situation into something more civil-and people said Edd was the socially awkward one? Maybe they had it backwards.

After that, dinner ran smoothly, which, in fact, meant that it was uneventful. Kevin was able to sidle up next to Edd and kiss him whenever he wanted and Edd, in turn, could tuck a napkin in to Kevin's shirt like a bib. Kevin, of course, pulled it out a second later and tossed it at Edd's face but it was the thought that counted, he supposed.

And no one said another word about it.

Maybe, Kevin thought, he should go out with Edd in public more often.
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BOOM!! *big explosion*
BBOOOOMM!! *bigger explosion*
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!! *biggest explosion*
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Kill me :D