organic. ➵ lashton

thirteen>

So, he closed his eyes and leaned forward, pecking Luke on the lips.

And the reaction was not what he was hoping for.

"Don't touch me," Luke snapped, darting back up into their room and clicking the lock. "I'm not eating today, Ashton. You can't make me."

Ashton sank down into their couch, hearing Luke's kittens meow longingly.

"Fuck," he sighed, running his hands through his hair.

/\/\/\

Luke didn't go in to work that day, staying cooped up in his room and turning an old razor blade in his fingers.

He remembered the day he grabbed his mum's shaving razor from her bathroom and pried out all the blades with a toothbrush and some scissors.

He also remembers the first time he utilized the harvested blades for anything but their purpose.

Luke hadn't done it since, but he thought maybe if he did, he could prove to the world that he was a fuck up and didn't deserve to live.

He didn't understand how Ashton had all of this hope. Everyone had so much hope and faith for him; that he would be able to get better and eat food and do normal shit, but that wasn't the case. Luke knew it wasn't. Luke had lost all traces of hope years ago.

His stomach gurgled at around five o'clock, since as of late Ashton had been forcing him to eat some type of meal at dinnertime and somehow his stomach was getting used to that. That terrified Luke.

Ashton was relatively lenient with breakfast and lunch, stating that dinner foods had more substance.

There was a soft knock at the door and Luke reluctantly stood up on shaky legs to ask who it was.

"Ash."

Luke unlocked the door but didn't open it, for he was still angry at Ashton and he doesn't open doors for people he's angry with.

"Brought you some carrots. Something light."

Luke was relieved that he got out of eating a full dinner, and wondered if it would work again if he locked himself in his room the next day.

Taking a look at the plate that Ashton held, he saw twelve carrots.

Doing the math in his head, he scribbled down a calorie amount in his notebook and set up a workout that he planned to complete later and would effectively burn off the calories he were to consume by eating the carrots.

But he still knew it wouldn't be enough.

"Luke," Ashton sighed, noticing the scale in the corner of the room. Ashton wasn't usually in Luke's bedroom. They normally fell asleep cuddled together on the couch with some movie playing.

"Please, just let me keep my scale," Luke begged immediately.

"Luke, I can't, it's bad for you and-..."

"Please!" Luke cried. He couldn't lose his scale. Ashton was taking everything away from him, all of his control.

"Stop, stop, stop, no," Luke wailed as Ashton stood up noiselessly and made his way towards the scale. Luke scrambled out of bed and threw himself in front of the scale, scratching up his hand on the siding against the wall.

"Please don't take my scale, Ashton, please don't take it I have to know I have to know how much I weigh, please," Luke sobbed.

"Luke, can't you see it from my point of view?"

Luke wanted to punch Ashton. Of course he saw it from Ashton's point of view. He knew that he was letting Ashton down but he somehow valued being skinny over his and Ashton's feelings.

"Can we please stop talking about this?" Luke asked, sniffling and wiping away his tears with the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

Ashton seemed unwilling to drop the subject, but seeing the look in Luke's eyes, he opened his arms.

Luke was quick to cuddle his small body into Ashton's broad, firm build, and allow Ashton to carry him to the bed.

Luke pulled the covers over himself and shivered, looking up to see Ashton holding one carrot.

"Can you eat one? It would make me feel better."

"Ashton, I..."

Luke tried to avoid Ashton's eyes, but a strong, yet gentle hand cupped his chin and made him look up towards him.

"Please?"

Luke grasped the baby carrot with shaking, bony fingers and took a single bite. He could feel the weight of the chewed up vegetable as it slid down his throat and settled in his pudgy stomach. He wanted to purge.

Once he had finished the endeavor, he snuggled up to Ashton, revelling in his natural body heat and feeling warm and comforted.

/\/\/\

Luke woke up at two in the morning completely alone.

He lay flat for a few moments, before he froze.

He grabbed his phone and turned on the flashlight, looking around the room in a squint as he struggled to make out objects in the dull white light.

Luke's eyes darted about, calling for Ashton as he looked to the corner and noticed something different, something absent.

His eyes widened and filled with tears as he realized.

His scale was gone.

/\/\/\

lol. i'll update later maybe.