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31 - Meant To Be

It was the Sinead Lohan song, Sailing By; I was thrilled to hear people singing along when I reached the chorus.

Dreams are a kite on a windy day

Free as a boat by the pier

And I can see it's always me

Holding her here, holding her here

After that we did acoustic versions of the Jason Mraz hit, I'm Yours and Dylan's I'll Be Your Baby Tonight.

"Thank you very much." The applause was heady, intoxicating; I could get used to this. "The next two songs are ones I wrote about a year ago. The first is about losing love when life gets in the way and the second talks about finding new love when you're least expecting it. I hope you like them."

Tried to keep you close to me,

But life got in between

Tried to square not being there

But think that I should've been

Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes

Hold back the river, so I

Can stop for a minute and see where you hide

Hold back the river, hold back

Rick's drum work on this song always got close to choking me up, it made the song so powerful. I was particularly proud of way the tempo rose and fell, much like the rhythm of the lyrical river. For the last chorus my guitar was the only instrument picking out the melody.

Lonely water, lonely water, won't you let us wander

Let us hold each other

As applause sounded I plucked my strings for the intro to Begin Again.

Took a deep breath in the mirror

He didn't like it when I wore high heels

But I do

Turn the lock and put my headphones on

He always said he didn't get this song

But I do, I do

Walked in expecting you'd be late

But you got here early and you stand and wave

I walk to you

You pull my chair out and help me in

And you don't know how nice that is

But I do

I had written this song after my cousin Lucia went through a terrible breakup and shortly after met her husband, but there were some small parallels between the experiences I'd written about and my experiences with meeting Ben, so it made me smile inside.

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid

I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did

I've been spending the last eight months

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

It was time now for my last song before the duet with Eleanor. I paused to let the applause die down then said softly into the microphone, "Thank you. I wrote my next song very recently and I'd like to dedicate it to the man who holds my heart."

I like the feel of your name on my lips

And I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss,

The way that your fingers run through my hair,

And how your scent lingers even when you're not there.

Another verse and then the chorus.

But I love the way you love me.

Strong and wild, slow and easy,

Heart and soul, so completely,

Oh, I love the way you love me.

Lost in thoughts of Ben, I came back to the here and now as the thunderous applause rolled over me.

"There's just one song left to sing for you tonight. You've been an amazing audience, thank you so very much - and you sing pretty good too!" I was laughing with them and it was an incredible sensation.

Jake and I began on guitar with Marcus on keyboard; after the first four bars Rick's drums kicked in.

I think it was me, it must have been me,

I guess I did something wrong.

I tried too hard, wanted too much

I guess that's why he's gone.

I lost my pride; I fought and cried,

I felt like a little kid.

What's wrong with me? I still can't believe

I did the things I did.

I couldn't change him,

He was going to break my heart.

I saw it coming

Yes, I knew it from the start.

When you love...

The crowd roared as Eleanor came on to join me, taking the next line of the chorus then harmonising as we sang the Reba McEntire/LeAnn Rimes hit. By the time we reached the last chorus the audience were singing with us - I couldn't hear them over the sound of the music but I could see mouths moving whenever I glanced that way.

We both strummed the last notes on our guitars and looked at each other; I can't speak for Eleanor, but for me it was a truly magical moment. I turned to face the audience, my heart leaping into my throat when I saw that many of them had risen to their feet. Eleanor indicated me with her arm, saying into the microphone, "Cara de Luca everyone," then standing back to let me take the applause. I took off my guitar and bowed, the adrenalin coursing through my body giving me the most incredible high; I was floating over and above the stage, looking down on the girl in the geeky glasses who had just sung her heart out to fifteen hundred people and adored every second of it.

Holy crap, I did it. When can I do it again?