Lil' Tidbits

Phobia

I stood in the shower for three and a half hours yesterday. My eyes were locked on the shower wall, waiting for my body to warm up. It was never enough, though. Never was.

See, when I'm out in the open and with the world the sun just doesn't do its job. I can feel the chilled air striking into my cheeks and ears and fingers, wriggling down into their core. My very bones have been iced over by the air of the world, and very soon I'll freeze to death. No one else understands, they don't feel the bitter cracks in my skin and the shivers of my protesting limbs. Each reaction makes my thoughts stop, and I can feel my very brain freezing. Can't you see I'm dying of the cold? Wind blows right through me, ready to ice my lungs. I'll collapse somewhere on a windy day and never rise!

So again, I turned on the shower this morning, as hot as it would go, and stood there. My legs have turned red, and the pink streaks all the way up. I can feel blisters forming on the delicate skin of my stomach. The steam is hard to breathe in, getting hard to see in here. In fact, I think I collapsed ages ago, crumpled in the tub with the scalding water still pounding me into the porcelain. But I swear, I'd rather burn to death then catch cold.