Dealing with the Unexpected

Chapter 3

Sorry for any grammar mistakes that you may spot; I've noticed a couple since proof-reading this again and I am so irritated that I didn't notice them before! I'll try my best not to make any more ^.^

Let me know what you think so far x

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Chapter 3

Sherlock didn't sleep at all that night.

He wanted to stay up and think, but he knew that if he stayed in the living room then he would risk John coming in and trying to have 'a talk' with him. He knew that everything he had said had affected John and he hated himself for making things awkward between them.

He gave in and headed for his own bedroom, shutting the door behind him to exclude any noises. He needed to think.

He kicked off his shoes and laid down on his bed without changing his clothes. 'Why did I have to push John?' Sherlock mentally scolded himself.

He had realised a few months back that he possessed...feelings...for John. It had taken him a while to grasp the fact that he could care so much about one person and he knew it was time for him to show John that he was capable of caring; but he had struggled.

Sherlock had heard all about how John visited his grave every day and it only added to the guilt he felt. How could he do this to his blogger? Mycroft had kept Sherlock updated with any news associated with John, but Sherlock knew he couldn't return until all of Moriarty's snipers had been killed. The day after the last one was killed, Sherlock had returned to his grave only to notice his good doctor was also there. John had obviously lost weight and he looked tired and ill. Sherlock had wanted nothing more than to run to John and take him back home to look after him, but he knew he should wait a little longer. He needed to figure out his feelings first.

He had spent the next two days up in a tree in the graveyard, processing his feelings towards John.

Finally he had decided that he was, in fact, experiencing love. That was the day he had returned home.

At first, John was certain he was going mad. He tried to ignore Sherlock but soon enough he was throwing random objects around the room and cursing Sherlock for returning so late. Sherlock remained calm as he listened to John's ranting, but inside he knew the worst was still to come. And it did.

John broke down completely and that was the first time Sherlock had witnessed him crying. He felt his heart break as he watched John cry uncontrollably in front of him, unsure of what to do. In the end, he couldn't stand the pain inside him any longer and he embraced the doctor as affectionately as he could. John had wrapped his arms around the consulting detective and together they stood in silence, John shaking slightly in Sherlock's arms. They both appreciated the closeness of one another, though neither of them admitted it.

Everything seemed to go back to normal after that day. Neither of them mentioned the hug, but both of them secretly craved the closeness again.

Sherlock wondered if John would ever love him back. He felt upset at the thought of being rejected by him. 'Haven't I made it obvious that I like him?' Sherlock thought. 'Surely he would have pieced together my hints by now? Perhaps he has and he just doesn't want to know.'

Sherlock turned over and buried his face in his pillow. 'The one time in my life that I care about someone and they will never feel the same way about me.' Sherlock felt his eyes getting sore. He knew he wanted to cry but he refused to let the tears escape. He must remain strong so John doesn't suspect anything.

Soon enough, he fell into a long and dreamless sleep.

***

John awoke the next morning feeling somewhat happy. He had realised the night before that he was in love with Sherlock and he needed to know if he felt the same way.

He jumped up from his bed and left for the shower. Once he was dressed, he proceeded to the kitchen, expecting to see Sherlock there. But he was nowhere in sight. John knew it was unlike him to sleep for so long but he ignored it anyway and made two cups of tea.

He made his way to Sherlock's room to give him his cup. He knocked lightly but there was no answer. He poked his head around the door and he noticed Sherlock was still sleeping, his back to John, so he entered quietly and placed the tea on the bedside table. He started to leave when he heard Sherlock whisper faintly. It was barely audible, but nevertheless John managed to make out a small 'thank you'. He smiled gently and left. It wasn't everyday he got a 'thank you' from that man.

***

Sherlock had received a text from Lestrade that morning asking them both to come to Scotland Yard. They had caught a cab there straight away and neither man spoke during the whole journey.

They were only given a small case but Sherlock was grateful anyway. At least he could have a distraction for a day. He was pleased that he had an excuse not to make conversation with John, since he knew that the only thing the doctor would want to talk about was the fact that Sherlock had begun to care.

They arrived back at 221B and John made them tea. Sherlock made himself comfortable on the sofa and his fingers steepled under his chin, indicating that he was thinking. John knew better than to interrupt him, so he left his tea on the coffee table and picked up the newspaper.

'I need to talk to him.' John thought. 'I should have done it this morning before the case.' He sighed to himself, not realising how loud the sigh was until he noticed Sherlock watching him curiously.

"Tell me what's bothering you, John," Sherlock said.

"Nothing, it's nothing, don't worry about it," John struggled, caught off guard slightly.

Sherlock sat up, obviously fully focused on John now. John knew he wasn't going to be able to get out of this, so he decided to just say it.

"Sherlock, you've changed. You care more, why?" He asked.

Sherlock felt his face burn. He had to tell John the truth, it would be obvious if he was lying.

"It's because of you." He whispered.

John just stared at Sherlock. He wanted him to go on, though. He needed answers.

"How?"

"I heard about the times that you visited my grave, John. Mycroft kept me informed." Sherlock said, noticing the blush creeping onto John's face. "It made me realise that there was someone in the world that cared about me."

Sherlock smiled and John fidgeted in his seat, feeling his face get warmer by the second.

"John I want to thank you for everything. Knowing that I was cared about all those years kept me going. If you hadn't been here...then...I might have just given up...and," Sherlock stammered.

John couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"No. No way, Sherlock, you are too valuable to this world to just go killing yourself." John said sternly. Sherlock stared down at the floor.

"Sherlock?" Still no answer.

"For crying out loud Sherlock, listen to me!" John shouted. He got up and moved to sit next to him. He grabbed Sherlock's head with both hands and turned him so that they were watching each other.

"Sherlock, you are right. Of course I care about you, I care about you immensely. When you...died...I was a mess, you know that. And what I really want to say is...that..." John tried, losing confidence.

"Say it John." Sherlock pushed.

"I...think I love you."