Villain Academy #JustWriteIt [WATTY AWARD WINNER OF 2015]

+ the 9 with the dark fairy +

"You are the stupidest creature I have ever met," Price spoke.

A groan raised from Archer and Alice's order struck me by surprise.

"Step away from him." She was already advancing.

But I harshly slapped Archer across the face and screamed, "Fucking wake up slut!"

His eyelids cracked open, the white part of his eyes consumed by a web of red. "Vhalerie?" he barely breathed.

Lance and Price went towards their friend, but Alice already tore him away, his body floating next to her. "I'll take care of him."

"What are you doing?!" Lance shot, leaping towards her, but Price kept an arm around his waist.

"You better not hurt him!"

"Uh. Don't mean to be a downer but he already looks pretty hurt anyway. Did you not see those cuts?"

"What the fuck happened to Archer?! What is wrong with your school?! You're all fucking psychotic and weird as shit and-and-and-"

Price put a hand on his arm, but he stepped back, furiously shaking his head. "No. I'm honestly done with this. If she hurts Archer, I will come after you."

"Boohoo. Let me go cry in my room and bury myself in fear as I lay next to Blankie and Mr. Teddy and lose sleep over your horrifying threat."

Lance shot a glare and stormed out, Price following in a shrug.

I let out a long sigh, staring after them. "I ship it."

"Girl. My sandwich and I were canon a long time ago. I'm surprised we haven't had children yet," Roger said.

"No, I mean. Archer and Lance. Totally ship it. Couple of the year." We walked out of the freezer, past melting ice cream and meat that'll probably go bad. "And what's this about children? I don't think I'm ready to be a grandmother."

"It's okay. Maybe I'll name one after you."

"You and your sandwich children," I sighed.

"I'd make a great father," Roger added.

"Let's just hope their pickle dicks won't be as small as yours."

Wrinkles folded on his forehead, and I lifted one shoulder up in a shrug. "Eh. Okay, you probably would."

Returning to the hallway, darkness loomed over me and my lips curved down. "I swear it was just morning like, two seconds ago. Did someone move the sun again?" I glanced up, discovering the shadow of an army. By army, I mean at least a quarter of the Villain Academy standing before me.

"We know you did it, Vhalerie," Hope growled.

I sucked in a sharp breath and winced. "You know, for a dark fairy, you really stretch it in terms of cuteness."

She threw her butterfly patterned nails up. "We're going to find out how you did it. And when we do-"

"Wait. Hold on. I feel a yawn coming up." I stretched my arms back, projecting a nasty, lioness one from my O-shaped mouth. I scratched my side, and lifted an apologetic hand. "Sorry, sorry. It's just that I haven't gotten any sleep and I've already been threatened to die, like, once already tonight." I waved her on. "Never mind. Continue."

Villains behind her grumbled, witch brooms and mummy wrappings shaking in the air. Hope put her fingers on her tiny waist-she was practically a life-sized doll-and roared. "We're going to find out how you did it. And when-"