My testimony

My story

When I was in the third grade I started to get bullied. Rumors would go around, and people would start to ignore me or treat me differently. My best friends would all leave me and I felt completely alone. All I wanted was to have friends and to fit in again. When I was 9 years old I started skipping meals. Maybe if I lost some weight I would fit in again. Let me tell you that didn't work! A while later someone finally started talking to me. Now this girl had a very different upbringing than I did. She cussed like a sailor. But I had a friend and if cussing was what I had to do to make her like me then I was gonna do it! Well, that didn't make me any happier either. By the time I was 12 I had found self harm. It started off small. Cutting maybe once a week. Then it went to three times a week, then once a day, and then multiple times everyday. I could not go without it, it was the only way I knew how to cope. My blades were my closest friends, I needed them and they were always there to comfort me. One day when things were really bad I was home alone. I was sitting in my bathroom floor, I had a bottle of bleach in front of me and a bottle of pills. I was thinking of ending all of the pain right there! One choice was all it took. As I was sitting there my phone went off. When I slid it over to see who it was this girl that I had been talking to ever the Internet had sent me a bible verse, and a daily routine to living a happier life. Right then I felt God's presence, I knew he was there! That night I prayed and I prayed. I can't say that my life turned around right then and there but I can say that right then and there I allowed God to step in whether I realized it or not and he took control. A while later one of my friends told my parents what I had been doing. They sent me to counceling and to talk with my pastors wife. She is the one who helped me realize that what I needed to do was repent. I had lost my sight of heaven and was consumed with worldly views and thoughts. I went home and repented and from that night in I have seen God working in tremendous ways all around me! I have even been luck enough to be used in God's plan to help others!!!!! You guys no matter how the world views is we a all such a powerful part of Gods plan! And I promise each and everyone of you that you are so very loved!