A/n this is basically tumblr posts
If no one comes to the future to stop you then how bad a decision can it be
Me after death:
* slams gates of hell open,takes off shoes, high fives satan.*
"I'm home what's the fudging wifi password"
My sense of humor is terrible I mean if you were to whisper ostrich in my ear I'd probably laugh about it for 4 days straight repeat
Dad: don't forget to close the door on your way out
Me:now imagine-
Dad: oh god
Me: as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor-
Dad:please. Stop. Now
Me: I can't help but to hear-
Dad:it's the third time this week
Me: no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words
Dad:stop it
Me:what a beautiful wedding
Dad: we're not even at church
Me: what a beautiful wedding says a bridesmaid to the waiter
Dad:oh god
Me:oh, but what a shame the poor grooms bride is a whore
Dad:I just wanted you to close the god damn door
Me: I chime in with a "haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door
A/n not my story obviously
My brother just sat my mom down in the living room and started crying and she was getting really worried and he burst out with "I' M PREGNANT"
And my mom started yelling and was like "OH MY GOD what the fuck I raised you to be responsible"
And she was literally ranting for about 10 minutes until she realized and quietly walked out of the room
A/N I swear to Carl my keyboard hates me right now bleh
