Craving (C.C.R)

Window

I woke up and I was super hungry so I went down stairs and got something to eat my mom and dad were home witch was a suprise my mom was making muffins my dad was spiking his coffee if u know what I mean he always was drinking and I don't know why but it didn't really effect me I ate breakfast and Kylee came down I finished and without saying a word I went up stairs and went to my bathroom I didn't need to shower but i got out a blade witch was in my cabinet behind my mirror I don't know why I did it but it was about 90 deep cuts on my thighs and I did 40 on both my arms 20 for each I cleaned up the blood washed my face and changed I got on a pair of Nike pros put on an Adidas hoodie and PINK socks I put on American horror story and checked my phone I saw I had a text from chandler I just rember last night like I figured out that I kind did like him and I think he just wanted me for the pleasure but I liked it too well I liked it al lot I opened his text and it said
(C=chandler T=trinity)
C: you shouldn't do that u know
T: urmm what
C:what you just did
T:I'm confused u don't know what I just did
I got no reply but I herd a knock on my window he came through it and then I knew he saw me cutting I shot up and helped him in and shut my window and locked my door and I walked over to him
"Why are you here and how did u get in"
"Urmm threw the window and plus I wanted to see you" he said
"Why is it about last night"
"Not exactly I mean I was just going to wait until u looked out the window then say hi" he Smirked
"And I noticed u didn't take a shower I mean shouldn't you have taken one...u know...to clean off the dirty mess"he's so smooth it makes me kinda want to laugh but I didn't
"Well last night I was just Lonley and I needed something to distract me" I said
"Don't worry I was Lonley too but I just kinda missed u...and stop getting off topic"
"What do u mean off topic"I said
"You shouldn't do that"
"Shouldn't do what" I was still going to pretend I didn't know what he was talking about but I did
"Hurting your self u know cutting self harm what ever you want to call it. And look ur thighs are bleeding" I looked down and the cuts on my thighs are bleeding probally cuz my heart was racing when he came to my room and they were fresh he grabed my hand and took me into my bathroom and found my Gauze and tape he put them aside and sat me up on my sink he got the gauze and just held it he looked at my thighs
"It breaks my heart when u do that" he said breaking the silence
"What do you mean u don't even know why I do it"
"U do it to numb the pain and to not think about it" he said like he really knew
"How do u-" I got cut off by him rolling up his sleeve he showed me his arm there were a lot of deep cuts and they all puffed over a little with home stiching like when he cut he did it so deep that he stiched it up him self
"Why" that was all I had to say
"It numbs the pain and he helps me stop thinking and you shouldn't do it" he was breaking my heart with is words
"Promise me you won't cut your self again" he said
"Okay I promise" he kissed the cuts on my thighs witch made me want to melt then he rolled up my sleeves and kissed those ones I felts so loved but I know he didn't love me he hugged me tight like he missed me then put the gauze on my thighs and arms and taped it off he carried me bridal style to my room and put me on my soft carpet and told me to lay down I layed down with my arms on my stomach and he layed next to me and we talked for hours I fell asleep and so did he I rember wale I was asleep I woke up and rolled over on my side I wrapped my leg around his hips and my arm around his chest and he hugged my body god he made me feel so loved I fell back sleep I woke up and he was awake looking at me
"What time is it"
"3:47" he said
" oh"
he pulled me close to him so I sat next to him he hugged me and put his head on my neck and he said so deeply like he was going to cry or like he ment it
"Ur beautiful...like I like you or something"
I looked him in the eyes and said
"Well I like you too or something" then I kissed him it was so passionate I liked him a lot we stopped kissing and then he looked down
"You know u still didn't take a shower today" he was right
"Ur right but my legs are weak" I said with a pouty face he smiled and helped me up he carried me like a toddler to my bathroom he sat me down and took off my socks shorts and my hoodie he looked at me asking for permission quitely and I gave it to him he took off my bra and then my underwear
"Can u help me" I said he smiled and took off his shirt and Jeans he kept his underwear on they were Calvin Klein and gray he looked so hot in them he helped me in the shower he turned on the water it was warm and hot it was perfect he held me and then he took my shampoo bottle and put a bunch in his hands cuz I have a lot of hair he massaged it all through out my hair and then held me as he put my head under the shower when the water was rinsed out he took my conditioner and lathered it in my hair he rinsed off his hands and put my head under how he did last time we stayed there for about 15 minutes and he held me I felt loved he got my body wash and washed my body not missing a spot at first he didn't wash my boobs or my ya know area but then he took my loofah and washed *down there* he was about to wash my boobs with it until I stoped him
"You don't have to use that " he dropped it and put more body wash on me then he rubbed it all over me and this time when he washed my boobs his hands we're sipping as he tried to put his whole hand over them he held me again and helped me wash off my body and some of it got on him during he didn't mind it washed off anyways he held me for another 20 minutes he turned off the shower and helped me out he sat me down on the toilet with the seat down and everything he dried me off and then he got me clean clothes he dressed me it was so cute I've never felt so loved and special and important he carried me into my room and laid me down on my bed and turned on my tv me and him cuddle and by that time it was 6:00 it was a really long shower I asked him a question trying to break the scilence
"Do u smoke weed?"
"What"he said chuckling
"Do u smoke weed yes or no" I said wanting an awnser
"Yeah I do" I got out my blunts joints what ever u want to call them and we smoked weed we were high we were talking we shared a lot of secrets and we talked a lot after a while I got super tired so did he we fell sleep accept this time I was straddling him and I was hugging him and he was hugging my lower back....
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Another chapter I'm proud of this one. Again Instagram @little_lemmon I'll follow you back...I always do 😊😊😊😊😁😁