In Another Life

Chapter 1

In Another Life

"Jack, quit playing with that damn card and pay attention!"

Jack Napier sighed, folding the Joker playing card back into the pack and pocketing the deck.

"Now when you get inside, I want Chuckie and Buzz covering the guys at the cash registers. Jack, I want you covering the guys on the floor and making sure nobody leaves. Jack, you listening?"

"On the floor, yeah, yeah," muttered Jack.

"I mean it, Jack. If someone gets out and alerts the police, it won't be funny."

Jack smiled. "Got a joke for you, Sal. What do you call a hostage who tries to escape from me? Dead meat!"

Jack laughed. Nobody else did. Salvatore Valestra, the leader of the gang, suddenly grabbed Jack by the collar and pulled him out of the backseat of the car towards him. "You need to stop trying to be a comedian, Jack," he hissed. "You ain't funny."

Jack glared at him in loathing as Sal shoved him away. "Now get outta here, all of you. I'll be waiting with the engine on – you got ten minutes and we're gone, get me? So don't mess around. Get the cash and get out."

Chuckie and Buzz muttered, "Yes, boss."

"Jack?" demanded Sal.

"Yes, boss," muttered Jack.

"Good. Beat it," said Sal.

The three gangsters climbed out of the car and slammed the door. "Ok, seriously, guys, don't tell me I'm the only one who thinks Sal is losing it," muttered Jack as they walked.

"He's gotta point," said Chuckie, shrugging. "These places are pretty hopping at lunchtime. Could take a good wad of dough."

"There's more dough elsewhere," retorted Jack. "Banks, museums, jewelry stores, for Christ's sake."

"Yeah, but those places are heavily guarded," retorted Buzz. "And Sal don't want a lot of trouble."

"The guy's no fun," muttered Jack, pulling out a cigarette. "He needs to loosen up and learn how to take a joke, instead of planning jokes like this whole operation. We're gonna look real stupid, a bunch of gangsters holding up a fast-food joint."

"Thought you wanted people laughing at you, Jack," retorted Chuckie.

"Not because I look stupid," snapped Jack. "Do I look like a clown to you, Chuckie?"

"Nah, you ain't got the red nose and the funny shoes like this guy here," said Chuckie, gesturing to the clown statue outside the fast-food restaurant.

"That's because I ain't a clown," retorted Jack. "I don't want people laughing at me. I want people laughing at my jokes."

"I dunno, Jack," said Buzz, grinning. "I reckon you'd make a pretty good clown. My girlfriend can loan you her lipstick, if you want. Might suit you. Kinda be difficult to take you seriously as a criminal, though."

He laughed, and Chuckie joined in. "Oh, I dunno, Buzz," replied Jack, grinning. "You fire a couple rounds in someone's face and people tend to take you pretty seriously, however you look."

To prove his point, he pulled out his gun and shot the clown statue in the face several times. "Aw, Jesus Christ, Jack, you got 'em panicked!" shouted Chuckie, as he and Buzz rushed into the restaurant, pulling out their own guns and shouting for everyone to put their hands in the air and get down on the floor.

Jack chuckled to himself, smiling at the clown's mutilated face. He wasn't a huge fan of clowns. They tended to creep him out. "Just gave you a round of applause, Funny Boy!" he chuckled, lighting his cigarette and strolling leisurely into the restaurant.