I'm So Sorry

Chapter Ten

Ben

What the fuck is with him? Mason seems to think he can say whatever the fuck he wants and that I'll be okay with it? And where did Jessie's attitude come from? She was balling her eyes out not even ten minutes ago. Now she's snapping at Olivia which, Jesus Christ, I didn't even know she was capable of doing. Does she know I lied to her? Did something else happen to her?

Randy lights his lighter and holds it up to some newspaper which immediately starts burning. I jump in my chair slightly when I notice him doing this, and he snickers.

"Afraid of a little friendly fire?" Randy asks me, a crooked smile tossed on his lips like a villain in a scary movie.

"No," I tell him, sitting up straighter.

"You should," Randy replies. "Shit'll kill you."

Makayla

What does Randy mean by that? "Shit'll kill you"?

And where the fuck did Jessie's attitude come from?

And why won't Mason answer my text message or even fucking look at me?

Actually, I'm slightly relieved he didn't look at me. The way he spoke to Ben after he threatened Olivia, the look in his eyes showed me pure terror and anger. He looked like a younger version of himself when he did that. Mason has demons in his past that he refuses to talk to anyone about. I don't know if Sandra knows about them, but to me, I wouldn't care if he told her. If it helps him, if it takes that fear out of his eyes.

Mason has always hid something behind his stupid jokes. There is always a limit with him, like you pay for a set number of jokes or a set amount of time he is able to be happy and then you reach your limit and he just...shuts off. I've never met anyone like that before.

Then again, I've never met anyone like Mason before. I've never met someone who made me feel the way that Mason makes me feel. I want to know what he's hiding behind those eyes, I want to know what he's thinking. He wouldn't go after Ben like that, not for Olivia, unless he had a reason. There's a reason for this. He wouldn't do it out of pure "kindness". Olivia has proven herself too much of a bitch to be fought for.

"What do you mean Randy?" Sandra pipes up, the quiet spell being held over the group breaking.

"You've just...you've got to be careful when you play with the flames of a fire. If you're not careful, they'll burn you. You've just got to watch your back with a fire. That's all."

Ben

Randy's weird.

Like, a different kind of weird. He's a lot darker than most people I've ever met. I have a lot of baggage; most of us do, but Randy? No, he's really reserved. I wonder what it is that makes him want to hang out with us, that makes us want to include him. I understand that he is Shannon's brother, but what is it that makes him think we are worth his time?

He has other friends. I've met them.

But I don't like them.

I don't like him that much. He's never given me a reason to like him, a reason to care about him. He just sits there half the time we hang out and smokes half a box of cigarettes and makes snide comments. What's the point of him being here?

I'd like to know.

"Has anyone seen Shannon?" Makayla pipes up. "I haven't seen her since we came up to the pit."

"Did you see her when you came out, Jessie?" Mason asks.

I look over at my step-sister.

"No."