Finding Me, A Jian Story | COMPLETE

How It Started

I don't know exactly when it happened.

I could say it started as we hugged Ricky and the others goodbye, as I felt something burn inside me as he and Jc stepped away from each other. My feelings were completely and utterly unfair towards Jc, Ricky, to everybody. I snapped at him, I glared at him, I ruined our last day with my best friends before me and Jc moved out. Every one was so worried about me, but they should've been angry at me. I had great friends, but I threw them away on a binge feeling.

And that's when it really started.

That's when I knew just how bad he is for me, that he turns me into a horribly jealous person. He has such an effect on me, and I have no idea why.

I was so confused, so terrified. I stayed up every night just staring at the ceiling because these feelings consumed me and I didn't know where to run, or hide. I didn't know how to make them stop, I couldn't.

I tried everything. The first two weeks were spent in my room, avoiding him and the rest of the world. But every time he knocked and asked if I was okay I got butterflies just at the sound of his voice.

I starved myself for I don't even know how long. I didn't even know why, but I did it anyways. I couldn't be like this, I couldn't be gay. I don't deserve food, I'm a "sin" according to everyone, including my own family. But on the fifth day I passed out while shooting a video and he knew exactly what I had done.

And it made it ten times worse.

He felt the need to spend every second with me, making sure I didn't do anything "too bitchy" again. And then my feelings skyrocketed. I felt like I was in middle school with my first crush, but it wasn't middle school anymore and this wasn't just "some crush." It was Jc. Every time I tried to run away from him he was jogging right behind me, when I tried to push him away he got even closer.

Nothing worked and I gave into my feelings.

I just had to hide them. Not so hard right? Just act like everything is normal... It's better than no Jc at all, right?

Wrong.

•••

"Wake up you lazy bitch!" I heard his voice and rolled over onto my back, only for him to jump on my bed and land right on my stomach.

"Agh!" I choked and he laughed hard enough to lose his voice. I just sat there until he was done, waiting somewhat patiently for his little scene to be over. After what seemed like forever of him laughing, he stopped and looked at me; mischief in his eyes.

"Get off!" I tried to shove him off, but he's been working out a lot lately, and that didn't really work at all.

"Let's go do something!" He whined, still atop me. I felt my breathing getting heavy. He was heavy, out of muscle now, and I couldn't take his weight on me for much longer.

"Jc," I panted and he gave me a concerned look. "Get.. Off!" His eyes got wide, but not guilty, and he got off, but only flipped me over and sit on back, instead.

I groaned again, trying to hit him as he laughed. I heard snapchat on his phone start and I groaned again. "Jc! STOP!" I screamed and my voice cracked, a lot. He laughed and I couldn't help but chuckle too.

"Then get your fat ass up, we're going to subway!" He got off of me and jogged out of my room and I heard my scream replay on his phone somewhere in our spacey house.

"JAYYYSEEEE!" I screamed and he laughed even harder than he was before. I quickly threw on a pair of ripped jeans and ran to Jc's room, grabbing one of his black and white shirts and threw his shirt on because he hated when I did, even though he did the same to me.

I ran downstairs and found his phone, got on, and was in the process of deleting my screaming until he walked out of the kitchen, saw me, and threw the apple he was eating at me.

"Ow! What the fuck?!" I found the apple and chucked it back at him before continuing trying to delete the video on his phone.
Jc lunged at me, trying to grab the phone, but I stood up taller and held the phone up above my head so he couldn't reach it.

"It's high school all over again!" He yelled as he jumped up and down trying to reach the phone. I laughed and tossed him the phone after deleting the video and then deleting it from the "recently deleted" section, too.

I dropped onto the couch and he went down beside me. "Why are you wearing my shirt, dude?" He asked me, brows furrowing. "You know I hate that!"

I though for a moment before responding. "Because I like your shirts." He is eyes went wide, and I flinched as I knew I was in for  some loud yelling.

"THEN GO FUCKING BUY IT! I WANT MINE!" He screamed and grabbed a handful of the shirt, trying to pull it off of me.

I laughed and pushed the shirt down again. "Man, I knew you would be trying to take my clothes off sometime soon, but this was quick!" I exclaimed, laughing as a blush settled on his chubby cheeks.

"Go do something with your hair so we can leave." He mumbled and I laughed, running up the stairs to grab my flower crown. I went into the bathroom and put it on, happy that my brown hair was growing back.

I went downstairs again, jumping on the couch and making Jc drop his phone.

"Bitch!" He yelled and I laughed.

"Let's go!" I dragged him up and leaped out the door.

"Someone's hyper today.." I heard him grumble behind me.

"Says the one that jumped on me this morning!" I retorted and he laughed behind me.

We both climbed in his car, him driving, and we left. I turned the radio up and sang along to the various songs it played. After a while I stopped and looked out the window as we passed Subway.

"Um, Jc?" I poked him and he turned to me.

"What?"

"We just passed Subway.."

"Oh, I know."

"Well, where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"UGGGHHHHHH!" I whined and he glared at me.

"Can you not?" He laughed as I frowned. "You whiny bitch!" He laughed harder as my frown got bigger.

"We'll be there soon!" He reassured me and I leaned back in my seat.

"Better be.." I grumbled and he rolled his eyes. I had no idea where he was taking me, but I was excited nevertheless.

Today was gonna be a good day.

Maybe.

As long as you don't fuck it up, it will be.

             💎
   Tell me what you think.
           -WAPLN